Sometimes I am an amazing mom. I have deep and meaningful conversations with my girls, my baby eats well-balanced meals and has no screen time, and I am an adventurous and fun wife. And other times I communicate with my girls via text and emojis, my little dude has Cheetos and Jeopardy for dinner, and I am the worst to my husband.
There are times when I feel guilty about that latter description. I beat myself up that I can’t maintain perfect mom behavior 100% of the time. We all feel mom guilt, and we talk about it a lot. It is common and ugly, and we expect and demand perfection of ourselves. When it doesn’t happen, it is so easy to beat ourselves up. It’s also easy to feel inadequate and to compare ourselves unfairly with other moms. We tend to give everyone around us the benefit of the doubt, but we are too hard on ourselves. Too often.
Whether you are killing it right now as a mother, or if you’re having a rough week full of take out meals and raised voices, can I give you the same reassurance my husband often has to give me?
You are the one, mama. The only one. The one person with that magical mama touch.
Daddy is awesome, but there is nobody like mommy. You make the physical and mental boo-boos and pain disappear. You speak that baby or teenager’s language better than anybody else, despite what else might be going on. You have that special touch, the exact right remedy, the comforting spirit that will always outweigh whatever you think you’re messing up.
Even on days when you feel like you have done nothing right, you are everything that is right to your little one. Or not-so-little-anymore ones. We all have different things to work on, but you’re not a bad mother. You haven’t scarred your child for life by letting him eat a few Cheetos instead of a banana. Your child will not be damaged beyond repair if he repeats that curse word you let slip in front of him. And you should take comfort in knowing that your children feel that they are your entire world more than they notice your imperfections.
So give yourself a break. Take care and take comfort in knowing that you got this. You are an amazing mentor, a gourmet cook, an excellent and engaging educator, and a hot mom to boot. Thanks for rocking it!