It’s World Breastfeeding Week! The moms in our community have been attending breastfeeding events, playdates, and posting nursing photos all over social media. It’s a great way to promote how beneficial and important breastfeeding is, but it can also sting a little to those of us who weren’t able to breastfeed (or chose not to).
Before I gave birth to my daughter I planned to breastfeed. It clearly stated in my birth plan that “my child was not to receive formula in the nursery, only breast milk.” Because breast is best, right? And we all want to be the best mothers possible.
Sometimes, things do not go according to plan. My daughter spent 3 days in the special care nursery due to head trauma from birth, and she refused to latch on when she finally got kangaroo care at 24 hours old. I tried everyday, several times a day for three weeks to get her to nurse and she refused. When I tried to get her to latch on all she did was scream.
As a mom to a newborn this was overwhelming. I was drained — drained from birth, drained from breaking my tailbone (she was sunny side up), drained from not getting kangaroo care with my baby when she was first born, and drained from seeing my baby in a special care nursery. For three weeks I pumped religiously and barely had any milk because of the trauma to my own body. After many tears I reluctantly decided to get rid of my pump and exclusively formula feed.
To substitute for the skin-to-skin contact my daughter and I lacked from not being able to breastfeed, we engaged in babywearing. It also helped me not feel as guilty about my inability to nurse my daughter because babywearing promotes the same closeness and stimulates some of the same hormones as breastfeeding. In addition, wearing your child can lower the chances of postnatal depression.
If your a mom who wanted to breastfeed and you weren’t able to — you’re not alone. And you aren’t less of a mom for not being able to. Applaud yourself for trying and then making the best decision for your child to ensure they are healthy, happy and well-taken care of.
Regardless, it can still be difficult when others make comments about formula over breast, especially when they may not know the reason behind the decision. Her are 5 things non-breastfeeding moms don’t want to hear…
Breast is best
Yes, we are fully aware that breast is best. It is a painful reminder to those of us who yearned to breastfeed, but were unable. We do not need a verbal reminder of what we already know.
Formula is poison
Yes, I actually saw another mom post in an online group that I am a member of that parents who formula feed are poisoning their babies. Do you really think that formula is poison? Do you think that formula fed babies are drinking a formaldehyde laced substance? Do moms that formula feed want to harm their babies? Moms who formula feed their babies are giving their babies the next best thing to breast milk, formula.
You could lose that stomach pooch if you breastfed
Well, I don’t breastfeed. I don’t have any milk to give, so therefore the “stomach pooch” stays. It’s amazing how people think it is their place to give unsolicited advice on how to tighten up a post-pregnancy mom-bod. Taking care of a baby is a full time job in itself. You do need to take care of your body and make healthy choices, but you’re one of the lucky ones if you don’t have a permanent stomach pooch after pregnancy.
Formula fed babies are more likely to get cancer
An acquaintance’s mom actually told her formula fed babies will get cancer. According to the Natural Resources Defense Counsel “breastfeeding may decrease the risk of childhood cancer in children under 15 years of age. Formula fed babies are eight times more likely to get cancer than children who nursed for at least six months.” Is this because more babies are formula fed than breastfed or because baby formula causes cancer? Do you seriously think moms who feed their baby formula want their babies to get cancer? Who says this to people?
Did you actually try?
If you’re rude enough to say this to another human being, tread with caution. Chances are that momma tried very hard to breastfeed her baby, but the odds just were not in her favor. Formula mama – you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Regardless of whether you chose to breastfeed or formula feed, you’re a great mom! Although I do believe breast is best, I don’t go around telling every mom I see with a bottle in her baby’s mouth. It’s important to filter what you say to formula feeding moms because you don’t know what their circumstances are. So ladies, please be kind this week while promoting World Breastfeeding Week, and help raise awareness in a positive way!
um…as long as your feeding your baby it doesn’t matter how it’s done, however, i breastfeed and I haven’t ever lost the stomach pouch….just saying 😉
Obviously did not take a statistics class based on your analysis of the cancer risk. When studies are done they use data comparatively and utilize formulas that negate the ratios of “more babies are formula fed.”
As a nurse I will continue to encourage breastfeeding, no matter your feelings on it because you all continue to act as though youre better than non-moms, which is rude to those of us who CANNOT have kids.
Our writer is coming from a standpoint of someone who desperately wanted to breastfeed and couldn’t, and is sharing some of the hurtful comments others made to her because she wasn’t breastfeeding. She is encouraging mamas to still feel good about their ability to be the best mom they can be even if breastfeeding didn’t work out. She also shares that she does believe breast is best and some other ways you can still provide your baby with the benefits breastfeeding provides even if you aren’t able to breastfeed. Her intent is coming from a good, supportive place, as the goal of our blog is to support local moms in our community. I apologize you felt otherwise.
Thanks to the writer.
I also hate the pity looks/comments you get from breastfeeding moms, making you feel even more as if you’re somehow an incomplete mom.
I breastfeed but have to supplement as well with formula. I had a surgery a few weeks ago and my milk supply dropped really low, and I was so worried I was going to dry up because of it. I’m thankful that it has come back up even though it’s still not enough to be able to just breast feed, I see no problem in the formula. When my baby is crying because she is hungry and I know I don’t have any milk left in me I have no problem with giving her the other because I know she is getting what she needs, she is being fed. And to the moms out there who either can’t breastfeed or chose not to as long as you are feeding your child than you are being the best mother you can be. Much love from a momma that has to use both!