Celebrating Grandparents … And Great-Grandparents, Too!

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In honor of Grandparents’ Day on Sunday, September 7, we’re paying tribute with a special series dedicated to Grandma and Grandpa, Mormor and Farmor, Oma and Opa — those doting elders who’ve done their time in the parenting trenches.

Growing up, I was lucky enough to spend time with both of my mother’s maternal grandparents (my mother’s mother’s mom and dad). My great-grandfather (Pa) passed away when I was in 3rd grade, and my great-grandmother (Meme) passed away while I was pregnant with my son.

Five generations in one photo. Harper (my niece), Justin (my brother), Nana (my mom), Gigi (my grandmother), and Meme (my great-grandmother).
Five generations in one photo. Harper (my niece), Justin (my brother), Nana (my mom), Gigi (my grandmother), and Meme (my great-grandmother), at Harper’s first birthday party.

I have clear memories of both of them, and as I got older I began to realize what a special opportunity it was to get to know someone who has experienced a completely different way of life. Pa lived through WWII as a fighter pilot and then a POW, and Meme was a wife and mother on the homefront. I now wish I had more time with them and had asked more questions of them both, but that is the naivete of youth.

With more and more couples having children later in life for various reasons, it’s becoming less of a certainty that children will get to meet (and remember meeting) their grandparents, much less their great-grandparents or great-great-grandparents! My brother’s three children actually got to spend time with their great-great-grandmother (my great-grandmother, Meme) before she passed away. What an amazing thing!

Though grandparents are wonderful, great- and great-great-grandparents are truly special. They’re our link to another time: before television, before the Cold War. They saw our parents as children, and then us, and now our children. They hold our family’s history in their memories.

My son is lucky enough to have three great-grandparents alive right now: both of my mother’s parents, who split their year living either in Florida or just an hour away, and my mother-in-law’s mother, who lives in Pennsylvania.

Four generations. Remy, my husband Nate, his mom Susan, and her mom Loretta. Photo by Bethany K. Photography.
Four generations. Remy; my husband, Nate; his mom, Susan; and her mom, Loretta. Photo by Bethany K. Photography.

We’re trying to spend as much time with them as possible, but it’s hard. It’s easier to stay in touch with my family since they live in-state, but the everyday life gets in the way. Travel arrangements are difficult with my husband’s current job and my school schedule; technology is stereotypically difficult for older people (and for me!); health issues have arisen; and in general I’m just a bad granddaughter who forgets to call or write.

Nate’s grandmother was finally able to come down to South Carolina to meet Remy and his cousin Caleb this summer. She always sends us the nicest cards, but it has never worked out for us to visit each other before. We’re hoping to get up to Pennsylvania in the coming year, though.

Connecting the generations

Here are some tips for staying in touch with your child’s great-grandparent:

Call often! Great-grandparents usually don’t text and love to hear your voice! I know I never think about calling until I’m lying in bed at night, but make it a priority! Set an alarm on your phone to remind you, make a set date with your grandparent, just do it!

Four generations. Remy, Lindsey, her mom Sandee, and Sandee's parents Wade and Shelvy at Lindsey's apartment for her first Mother's Day in 2012.
Four generations. My son, Remy; me; my mom, Sandee; and my mom’s parents, Wade and Shelvy. This photo was taken at my apartment for my first Mother’s Day in 2012. Spending the day with my grandmother is how I always imagined my perfect first Mother’s Day.

Write! Everyone loves getting snail mail or even just an email if they have that set up. Send pictures, cards, artwork made just for them, anything! Your grandma has taken the time to send you a card with a $5 check in it for your birthday every year; the least you can do is send her a note telling her your family is thinking of her! And hey, it may spark a phone call too!

Visit, if you can. Nothing makes a great-grandparent happier than hearing and seeing a child having fun. That kind of laughter is infectious! If time and money allow, visit as often as you can. Make it a priority so it will actually happen. If your child’s great-grandparent is in an assisted living facility or a hospital, check the rules for visitors. Each facility has its own guidelines, and some don’t allow children to visit. Check first — no one wants to be turned away at the door!

Take a lot of pictures! Sadly, you never know what will happen. I often forget to take pictures either because I’ve forgotten my camera or because I’m living in the moment. Now, there is nothing wrong with that; but it’s also important to take a minute and take a picture with your loved ones. I love going through old family photos, especially ones where I am too little to remember when they were taken. Take pictures so your children can look back on happy times with their great-grandparents.

Ask them about their lives. If your grandpa is anything like my Poppy, he loves telling a good story. I could listen to him talk for hours! Ask them about what it was like growing up, or how things were different when they were raising children, and enjoy the ride!

My grandparents met Remy for the first time on my first Mother’s Day in 2012. Spending the day with my grandmother was what I wanted more than anything on that day! Four generations all together! And you can bet I got pictures (see above). I’ll treasure these days that my son can spend with my grandparents, and I’ll treasure the photos for years to come.

Remy and his great-grandfather, Poppy.
Remy and his great-grandfather, Poppy. Just hanging out and passing on the knowledge.
Remy and his great-Grammy, Loretta
Remy and his great-Grammy, Loretta. Baby cuddles are the best! Photo by Bethany K. Photography.
Yet another reason Remy loves to visit his great-grandparents: a private pool! Swimming and cookies win this little guy's heart!
Yet another reason Remy loves to visit his great-grandparents: a private pool! Swimming and cookies win this little guy’s heart!

Do your children have living great-grandparents? How do you help them maintain a bond with the older generation? Tell us in the comments.

 Slideshow image: S P Photography / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)
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Lindsey Young
In 2011, as Lindsey Young was anxiously awaiting her transfer acceptance letter from the University of South Carolina, she unexpectedly found herself pregnant! It turns out God actually did have a plan, because the next year a perfect baby boy was born and a year after that, she and her baby daddy tied the knot! (Yes, we are aware we did things backward, but I wouldn’t change a thing about it!) Since then, her life has revolved around the tiny terrorist making demands and trying to balance life as a wife, mother, part-time college student, friend, short-order cook, maid, etc., with a husband that works nights. (Though she doesn’t always feel successful!) Lindsey is due to receive her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Anthropology from the University of South Carolina in May 2015. Traveling abroad the first time she went to college left her fascinated with other cultures and she is thrilled to get the chance to study the “Tribe of Motherhood” firsthand. She is also due to begin her training as a Birth Doula in October of 2014. Lindsey would like to be an advocate for women’s health education and natural birth options, though she has never had a natural birth herself. Next time though! Lindsey's husband is an Irmo, SC, native and was stationed at Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point for 5 years. Even though Cherry Point is only 30 minutes away from where Lindsey grew up in Morehead City, North Carolina, they met in Columbia, SC in 2010 while singing karaoke.

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