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A Day in the Life of All That Went Wrong

A Day in the Life of All That Went Wrong | Columbia SC Moms BlogSometimes, this life is for the birds. This is currently one of those moments. Years from now, I’ll look back on this post and I know I will laugh . . . but right now? Nope. I just want to get to the gym for my hour of solace. 

It’s moments like this I realize how insane my life has become. Too many deadlines, and not enough energy or time to complete them all.  

I woke up early this morning with all intentions of peacefully writing before the kids got up. Then I remembered I needed to put laundry in the washer. I decided I better do the chore now before I forgot, and as I walk past my daughter’s room I spent an hour cleaning the previous day, I realize it’s a mess again.  

Awesome. Because I have time for this.

Then I look at the clock and it’s already time to wake the kids. Got my oldest daughter to the bus stop, not only on time but EARLY! Yeah me! Now I can make up for the time I missed out on this morning. But then the laundry dings.

Better go get it.  

I hear the iRoomba kick on. A smile sweeps over my face.

One less thing I have to do. But ugh, the puppy just found a roll of toilet paper and it’s EVERYWHERE.

I clean the mess, put my youngest daughter in the shower, fold some laundry, grab my laptop and begin to write another sentence.

Why is it so quiet in the bathroom?

Run to the bathroom. She’s not showering. She’s plugged the drain so the tub fills up with water.  

Really?

After that situation is taken care of, it’s already time for lunch. I grab my laptop knowing she’s not going to get herself in trouble while she’s eating so I can work on my article. As I walk down the steps towards the kitchen, my mouth turns down. There’s a smell coming through my nostrils that is absolutely horrible and I murmur words I wish not to repeat.

Our puppy pooped . . . and the iRoomba is on.  

No, please no. 

I reach the bottom step and peer around the wall. Yep. There it is. Crap. Literally. Crap everywhere. There is a smudgy brown trail following behind the iRoomba. It zigs and zags, goes in circles, it’s on my baseboards . . . puppy poop everywhere throughout three rooms.  

A Day in the Life of All That Went Wrong | Columbia SC Moms Blog

You know what you did…

I run to turn off the vacuum and flip it upside down so it can’t accidentally come on again. The entire bottom half of my lovely work saving device is now covered in a thick stench ridden brown paste. I hold in my gag, grab the disinfectant wipes and begin cleaning up the mess while desperately trying not to scream. There is poop in all the tiny crevices of the little vacuum. 

Forget it. We’re just going to order new parts. This is gross.  

I walk into the kitchen to throw away the wipes, trying to avoid the pile of dishes that are overflowing in the sink. Our dishwasher broke last week (third time in a year) and the warranty company can’t come for two more weeks. Of. Course. 

Okay, I’ll skip cardio today at the gym. That will give me time to put away the dry dishes and clean some of these dirty. Afterwards, I’ll quick shower before I have to get my oldest daughter from the bus…

Screaming is now coming from the front room. The dog is chasing my youngest daughter. Upon investigation, I discover there are carrots and trash everywhere. I beg my daughter to please clean it up so I can finish cleaning up the poop. She agrees. Seconds later I hear her running up the stairs in the opposite direction.  

Serioulsy? I’m not going to fight with her right now, I need to get this mess cleaned up.  

The bus will be here in 10 minutes. My youngest daughter needs to get her shoes on. The microwave is dinging with a reminder of her forgotten lunch. The dog is whining because she needs to go out. All while my head is spinning with the things I still need to do. 

Don’t forget to order parts for the iRoomba.

Shoot! I need to go to the bank.  

Do I have gas?  

My youngest jolts me out of my head as she’s shrieking singing her little song. Thankfully, she put her shoes on before she sat down to eat. It’s now nothing but peace and quiet and a puppy eating a potato.

A POTATO?!?!  

No, no, no, no . . . yep. My dog tore open the trash I took out of the can with all intentions of taking to the garage but got sidetracked by, well . . . something.

Sigh. Is it bedtime yet?

There are some days when the thought of running away, all alone to a deserted island is extremely appealing. Today, is one of those days. I’ve been up since 5 a.m. My tea is cold. My anxiety is through the roof. And I’m already exhausted. 

But I’m going to finish writing, get dressed, hit the gym, and embrace the craziness that is inevitably mine. Overall, most days are good. And some days, like today, things go horribly wrong. Just another day in the life of a mom, right?

Have you experienced a day where EVERYTHING seemed to go wrong? Share your terrible tale below.

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One Response to A Day in the Life of All That Went Wrong

  1. Lori February 5, 2017 at 11:12 am #

    Love this piece. Even though I’m a recent empty nester, I can so relate to your “umf” and zest for life. If dog crap is all that we have to worry about, we are all good!

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