Why I Don’t Talk to My Black Kids About Martin Luther King Jr… Yet

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I never made a deliberate choice not to discuss Martin Luther King Jr. with my kids. It was something where over time, whenever the occasion would arise, I just wouldn’t go there. I can think of a lot of reasons to explain everything to them, but I’m just not ready and honestly, until recently, I don’t feel my kids are ready either.

It isn’t that I never want them to know, of course I want them to know, and I did try to explain it to my son when he was 5 or 6 and he just didn’t get it. He was oblivious, as he should be at that age.

I’m not naive to think they haven’t heard about it in school, or will hear about it in the classroom. But that’s different. That’s not as detailed as I envision myself explaining what happened back then. Dr. King was killed because he was black and he was trying to bring about change. There’s no other way to put it. He was fighting for equality that blacks weren’t allowed. Because my kids are black makes it more personal for me.

I still remember when I learned about race and the Civil Rights Movement, and for me it changed the way I looked at myself.

Why were those people hurt for being black? Why was Dr. King killed? Because he was black? What’s wrong with being black? Am I not good enough? Do people not like me because I’m black?

I felt suspicious of everyone who wasn’t black. I felt like I was being secretly judged or hated because of my skin color. And I have been. I’ve been called the most offensive name associated with my race, more than once actually. All these things…they tie in together. I can’t explain Dr. King without explaining race and prejudice.

Last year, my son came home and waited two days to come into our room and whisper to us that his classmate said she doesn’t like black people. Then he said, “But that’s wrong mom. We’re black people.”

Do you have any idea what that’s like? Things like that can change a person. They can surely change a child.

I’m terrified of my kids feeling the insecurity that being black can bring. I’m scared of them harboring any kind of self-hate. I’m scared of them learning everything that lead to Dr. King’s mission before they’re ready and crushing their spirits.

Martin Luther King Jr. has an amazing legacy and he moved mountains, but again, I cannot explain the work he did without explaining the Civil Rights Movement, Rosa Parks and the 16th street bombing. There was lot that went on that I do want to tell my kids, but it’s like this…they have their whole lives to know they’ll be treated differently because they’re black. I don’t want to put that in their head now.

But I will. When I decide the time is right.

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Simone Praylow
Simone Praylow is wife and bestest friend in the world to Otis (better known as Odor) and mom to football and soccer loving Grayson 12, competitive cheerleader Elind, 7 and tantrum expert Ozzy Voltaire, 2. She is a native of New Jersey but relocated to Key West and later Columbia. As an overachiever, she believes learning is the best gift she can give her children and spends much of her time teaching her children at home (Grayson attends school, but the learning doesn't end when he leaves the classroom). Simone finds motherhood and family life are most easily managed by having a system in place for homelife, kids' schedules (including learning, screen time and reading) and meal planning. She is an avid reader who finds books are one of the best ways to unwind at the end of the day. She spends a lot of time boxing and at Pure Barre getting her burn on. You'll often find her buried in a book or on Pinterest getting ideas for her next project or yummy meals for the family menu.

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