Jumping the Fire of Just Mom

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Jumping the Fire of Just Mom - Columbia SC Moms Blog

Yep.  That’s me. Soaring over that fire like I was made to do it.

But it didn’t start out that way…

Just Mom. That’s who I had become. We’ve all done it. As moms we get so lost in the world of kids and wife that we completely lose sight of who we are. There are some who are able to keep a healthy balance, but I was not one of them…

From the moment I first held my oldest daughter, every part of my world became all about her. Even my relationship with my husband suffered. My children became my everything. And before I knew it, I looked in the mirror and had no idea who the person staring back at me was.

Sure, that girl was put together, but it was clear there was something missing in her eyes. I always wanted to be that mom who had it all. The one who could handle anything the world threw at her. The mom who had this whole parenting thing down.

It wasn’t happening.

I was falling apart on the inside. I had no real identity anymore. I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror. Before kids I was so strong and independent, and now here I was – food giver, bather, cleaner, butt-wiper, laundry service, horsey, playmate, sleep buddy – everything on my shoulders. On the shoulders of a woman I didn’t know. I was so much more than just a mom.

I broke at that moment (though, this is the first time I’m admitting it to anymore).

I still to this day remember looking at that woman – asking her what happened to her dreams, what happened to taking on the world? I was stuck. I knew something had to change. I needed to find a way out.

The Photo That Changed My Life

Then one day on Facebook my friend Michele posts this photo:

This photo… this is the one that started it all….

Yeah. That one. That photo changed my life. Changed my husband’s life. Heck, it changed my kids’ lives. I saw that photo and knew instantly that I had to do the same. I wanted to jump over fire.

I said to my husband, “I want to do that! I want to jump over fire!”

His reply … “this is just another crazy thing you want to do that you will never actually do.”

Remember those broken pieces from when I stared in the mirror? Well, they instantly came back together and a flicker of the old me came out.

“Well, with you or without you, I’m going to do it. But it would be awesome to do it with you.”

At this time in my marriage, things weren’t the greatest. We were more like roommates. It was miserable. We were miserable. Both of us were teetering on was this worth saving or should we just bail out now. Only now do I realize that we were both lost, we were both confused in our roles as parents, and neither of us knew how to help the other.

Months passed by and I started doing research on this thing called Obstacle Course Racing. I realized I’d gotten myself into something more than I could handle … but I knew I couldn’t back down.

Finally my husband had agreed to do the race with me, “One and I’m done. That’s it. I’ll do this with you because you want me to, but I won’t be doing this every weekend, this won’t become my life.”

(It always makes me give the evil laugh when I remember him saying those words…… bwahahahaha….)

What REALLY Happened Race Day

My stomach was in knots. My body was transformed (I lost a total of 20 lbs that first year of training!!!). I had done all the research and knew what to and not to expect.

But… what I didn’t know… what was going to happen AFTER the race.

The course was physically difficult. We “ran” (by ran, I mean I hiked) up, down, around, across Blue Mountain, had to swim in a lake, climb walls that were easy five times my size, carry sandbags, jump on logs. I asked myself a million times why I had done this. I wanted to give up.

My husband, though, held my hand and talked me through it. He was my strength. Remember when I said things weren’t the greatest? You would have had no idea out on that mountain we were having problems.

We were one again. 

We worked together and supported each other in a way we had yet to do in our eight years together.

But the biggest change came after jumping that fire and crossing the finish line. I had tears in my eyes.

Spartan race has a saying “You’ll Know at the Finish.” And it is beyond true. I came off that mountain, jumped over that fire, and realized instantly who I was – who I wanted to be – not only for myself but for my family and my husband. It was as if I’d crossed a magical flame that answered all the questions I’d been asking the woman in the mirror.

I found the missing piece I was so desperate for.

Yes. We were holding hands. He CLAIMS it was to keep me trudging up the mountain … but I know he really just likes to hold my hand.

This first race was just one of many to come. My husband who said he was just “one and done”… we didn’t even make it back to our car when he was asking when our next race was.  😛

It changed who we were as a couple.

It changed who I was as a mom.

I now know my strength. I know my weaknesses. I know how to use each to my advantage. I can show my two young daughters that women can be strong. I can do things physically many people wouldn’t fathom.

I realized just how strong I am, how worthy I am, how much more I am.

I can clean boogers like the best of ‘em … but I can also take on a lot more. It’s helped me to become a better mom. A better spouse. A better person.

I found my passion. And with that, I found the missing piece.

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Jenelle Temple
Passionate in all things in her life, Jenelle learned many lessons on the road to finding herself. The beginning of her journey began when she met her husband, Alan. He swept her off her feet giving her the wings she needed to fly. To this day, Alan is supportive of all the crazy ideas that creep into her head. Whether it is to compete in Obstacle Course Races (most weekends during the summer, you can find Jenelle, Alan and kiddies climbing walls, jumping over fire, crawling through barbed wire, and flipping tires in the muddiest of places), completely overhauling the family’s diet to fresh healthy foods (clean processed foods have taken over their lives, assisting them in losing a combined 130 lbs in the course of a year and allowing them to be in the best shape of their lives), or deciding to up and move the family 10 hours away to Lexington, South Carolina. Born and raised in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania, Jenelle grew up in an area where everyone knew her family name (this was especially enjoyable as a teenager – note the sarcasm). She graduated from the local university, East Stroudsburg University, Magna Cum Laude with a B.S. in Psychology. She was a stay-at-home mom of two beautifully silly daughters, Riley (6) and Emma (4) when it was decided to move to South Carolina. It was a big change. Jenelle went from “knowing everyone” to knowing essentially no one. Every day is a new experience, new journey, learning to meet people, and learning to take herself out of her comfort zone even at the risk of being completely awkward.

2 COMMENTS

  1. I’m signed up for the tough mudder next month. I hate to run and I hate to be dirty, so husband can’t figure out for the life of him why I was so insistent on running it with him. You wrote everything I haven’t been able to say. Thank you.

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