Ever said, “The grass is always greener on the other side!” and then kicked yourself because it’s a bit cliché? We say it so often because it’s true. I don’t know about you, but there always seems to be that mom. The mom I wish I was, some days, especially when my lot seems particularly challenging, for a multitude of reasons. It’s days like that where I’m struck green with mom envy.
That mom is always put together. Her body bounced back after baby. She’s the bubbly, involved, well-rested mother that you spy often at play dates, your kid’s school functions, or even the grocery store. Rest assured, I’m definitely not that mom. There’s actually a whole list of moms I envy, and if you are on the list — and I know a lot of moms are — know that somewhere, out there, someone like me wishes she could trade spots for a day.
The One-and-Done Mom
I have three, closely-spaced, chaotic, messy, wonderful bundles of joy. Is it any wonder I have days when I’m envious of the moms with only one? It’s not just that you aren’t dealing with constant fighting, finger-pointing, and multiple schedule juggling. I love the way you can focus on just one kid. You have an abundance of time, and in some cases, money, to lavish on your one child. Traveling as a family looks a million times easier.
One-and-done moms often get flack for stopping with one. I want to let you know that I admire you – whatever your reason for being one-and-done – there are major pros to being you, and I think you rock!
The Stay-at-Home Mom
I’m a full-time, working outside the home mom, and have been the entirety of my kids’ lives. I want to say I know how hard it is to be a stay-at-home parent, but the truth is, I don’t. Even on my staycations, I know there is an end in sight where I’ll get to plop my kids in daycare or school and escape.
I know staying at home is hard, yet there is still a lot to envy. I’m jealous of the fluidity of your days. You can let your kids sleep in if they are extra tired, or stay up a little later if there’s something amazing happening that night. You can do park days and play dates and day trips out of town. Most of all, I envy the friendships I see my stay-at-home mom friends build, and the close relationships their kids have with each other. What you have is a special thing, and I hope you know that.
The Mom of Many
With three kids, I get a lot of comments about how full my hands are, and am I sure our family is complete (it is!). But – I love pregnancy and I love childbirth. I love babies; I’m good at babies. Sometimes I’m sad I’ll never have those experiences again. Other moments, I’m just grateful to move on, complete, to the next chapter in my life.
I’m genuinely excited when I see a mom friend who is announcing her fourth, fifth, sixth, or more pregnancy. I envy her ability to continue to do the pregnancy/birth/newborn thing. I wish I had some of the experiences she has: having older kids attend a birth, or having built in babysitters.
There are many advantages of having a large family that balance out the challenges. I’m grateful to know enough families with four or more kids that my kids have often wondered why we have only three. So, mom of many, high-five, you are amazing.
There’s a lot of other moms I envy.
The homebirth mom (that is one bucket list item that will not be checked off), the homeschool mom, the super-involved PTO mom … the list goes on. All of you are fantastic at being you. Rock on!