Though the sweltering August sun may still beat down on our backs, and the humidity is so thick it can feel downright oppressive, we know now a new season has begun. School season.
The start of school can be bittersweet for both parents and children. The unstructured days of freedom are gone, making us both sad and happy. Yes, those kids drove us nuts all summer long, but it’s our nuts.
The first day is a shock to our minds, marking the passage of time, and reminding us that the sweet days of childhood are disappearing at a fast clip. It seemed like they just were our babies-in-arms, yet soon they will be grown-ups, beyond our control and protection in the ruthless world. How can this be?
We do all we can to help our children and find ways to protect them, but in the end, we have to teach them well and have faith in them. That’s one of the points of life, is it not? We can’t always be with them, so we have to prepare them.
Too bad there is no one-size-fits-all parenting solution in our world. That is the beauty and the hardship of being human: Everyone is different.
Though we want to protect our children from the cruelties that inevitably await them, this is impossible and even unfair. Children don’t learn via osmosis from our own boneheaded mistakes. (Too bad … that would be so convenient). They have to make their own mistakes and find their own way. All we can do is give them a safe space to learn from their missteps. We try to provide cushions for their inevitable falls, so important to the learning process.
The truth is, our children are slipping away from us from the minute they are born. As long as time marches forward, all people continue to grow. From safe in the womb to adult in less than two decades: Time simultaneously zooms and crawls. Einstein theorized time is relative. How right he was.
The huge change of life known as school starting may call our attention to it, but growing up happens continually. Even for adults.
The first day arrives. We bend down, our eyes looking into theirs, kiss them on the heads while gulping a lump back down our throat. Stretch a happy smile across our lips, and tell them what a good day they will have. And you know what? We won’t have to fake this.
Appropriately applied, a little distance is good for both parent and child. We may not be able to constantly focus on relishing time with our kids, as in the summer, but it’s okay. We will expand our horizons and become wiser people for it. That’s what I will try and remind myself, anyway.
No one is meant to be here forever. Embrace that truth and use it to strengthen your ever-evolving relationship with your family. Growing up doesn’t have to be a sad thing. Instead, recognize it as the celebration it truly is. And remember the happy times.
