“Call me sometimes”
“Please call me”
“I never hear from you”
“Please come see me soon”
“Please”
“I miss you”
“I love you”
Silence…. forever
She gave you life. She changed hundreds of your dirty diapers and spent tireless hours trying to teach you how to use the potty. She bandaged your knees when you fell. She wiped your tears when you cried. She sacrificed everything she had to in order to make sure you kept clothes on your back and food in your mouth.
Maybe she worked two or three jobs at once to make that happen. Maybe she gave up her dreams to stay home with you and make sure you stayed safe in this world even though she worked so hard for that beautifully framed degree on the wall that’s now collecting dust. The day you were born your life became her top priority and her life ceased to matter. Everything she did, or didn’t do, was because she believed it was what was best for you.
Now, you stand before her on Mother’s Day (or really any occasion for that matter) empty handed, even though you are older now and fully capable of being able to show your appreciation for her. You may forget to tell her Happy Mother’s Day. Maybe you don’t even tell her that you love her before you turn to leave. Your silence is much worse than just not giving her a card.
Although she has come to expect this from you, every word left unsaid still rips another piece from her heart. It keeps her up at night crying. She spends days and months, maybe even years, trying to understand what she did wrong. She blames herself and she mourns the loss of a child who is still alive. The pain is torture. Still, she forgives.
Is this what she deserves?
She prayed for you every single day of her life asking God to make sure her baby was healthy and happy. She prayed for you so much that she often forgot to pray for herself; when she did, she prayed for the ability to piece her heart back together. She never asked for much, only a little attention, a little appreciation, and to feel loved. The days, weeks, and months of never hearing from, and never being able to lay her eyes on, her most precious blessing never stopped her from loving you just as much as she did the day she first held you.
Yesterday, she was here. Today, she is gone. It was completely unexpected. No goodbyes were able to be given. No apologies. No hugs. No comfort in her last moments. She spent her life loving you more than anyone else on this earth ever will but sadly as you grew older, you only remembered her when it was convenient for you; at least that’s how it seemed to her.
In the end, she died alone and feeling as though the one person in the world who should have loved her unconditionally, her own child, didn’t.
Is this what you wanted?
Mother’s Day is not an excuse to avoid showing your mother your appreciation for her throughout the year. For those that let it be, don’t. Maybe life just keeps you so busy that you often forget to take the time to call or visit her. If this is you, fix it. Now. Pencil in time for a phone call to her every week and a visit at least once a month. Maybe you feel as though you need to keep your life a secret from her to spare her the pain of knowing how much you are suffering.
Let me tell you a little secret, the story above is mine; both as a mom and as a daughter. The quoted statements you read are from the voicemails I have left from my own mother. Keeping your pain from your mother does not spare her. Your secrets become her silence and her greatest heartache.
Today, I am pleading with you to not make the same mistakes that I made. Whether you are a child/teen who often forgets to show your mother your appreciation or whether you are a grown adult who often feels too busy or overwhelmed to make the time for that call or that visit, your mother deserves better. Make the time.
