Why I Didn’t Have My Daughter’s Ears Pierced at the Mall

Before I became a mother, I assumed I would get my daughter’s ears pierced as an infant, before she would have memory of the pain and when I would have control over the cleaning and maintenance of the piercing. That’s how mine, and my sister’s, and most other girls I knew got their first piercings. We got pierced as babies, with ear piercing guns at places like Claire’s or Piercing Pagoda, and even Wal-Mart. So that’s how I figured it would go for my daughter, when, and if I had one.

But then we had our first child, a boy, and chose to not circumcise him — in other words, leave him intact. We came to this decision for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which was bodily autonomy. His body, his choice. And if we were going to leave his body alone, it dawned on me that we should do the same for our daughter. We decided we would let her choose when she was ready for earrings.

Sometime in her third year or so, I saw an article floating around about why one mom took her daughter to a tattoo parlor to get her ears pierced. And then another one about why you shouldn’t get your child’s ears pieced at the mall.

I was fascinated.

I’ve never been a huge fan of ear piercing guns. I have had additional ear piercings by guns when I was a preteen that have since closed due to poor maintenance on my part. I know they hurt going in. I remember the soreness lasting days. The discomfort of cleaning and twisting. I wanted better for my daughter. And after reading up on it, it seemed clear to me which was the better choice.

I wasn’t the only one.

Other local friends said they would choose a tattoo/piercing studio over a piercing gun too, but had difficulty finding one without arbitrary age limits. Many will not pierce minors. Or some will not pierce under the age of 13. I was growing frustrated, thinking that a gun piercing might be her only option, if she chose to get earrings. Then finally, one friend posted about her five year old’s experience with Ouch! on Two Notch. I was excited! We had a place to go, when and if she decided she wanted her ears pierced.

Over the summer, we talked about it. She liked my earrings. We watched YouTube videos of piercings of girls about her age. And she decided, for her fourth birthday, that she’d like earrings too.

The day before she turned 4, I dropped off her brothers with their Nana and we went to Ouch!. The studio is quiet, clean, and actually really peaceful the early Saturday afternoon we went. She showed off her Frozen necklace to the receptionist, took several minutes choosing between gold or silver cubic zirconia studs (all while being fascinated by the colorful array of other body jewelry available), and then we went back.

The piercer introduced herself as Kara, and my sweet girl ran up and gave her a big hug and sat on the end of the table. Kara explained what she was going to do, and my girl just nodded along. Kara wiped her ears clean, marked them carefully, then asked her if she wanted her to count 1-2-3 or just do it.

My almost-4-year-old said, “Just do it!”

So Kara did. My little girl flinched a bit and cried. I don’t think she really expected it to hurt, though we explained it would just a little. For the next ear, she wanted to sit in my lap, and that one went easier. She still cried, but was better quickly.

Now, she’s the proud owner of two earrings and she’s excited about it. She chose it, and that makes a huge difference, to me at least.

On the way home that evening, she was already talking about maybe getting her nose pierced. I told her that one would have to wait until she’s a grown-up.

Why choose a piercing studio over a piercing gun?

The piercing studio hires a trained professional. Piercing is what they do all day. Each piercing technician has undergone over a year of training and internships before piercing on their own. Even for a simple ear piercing, having training and expertise with piercing placement, soothing clients and handling any complications is a huge plus. Kara gave us her card to follow up if we had any questions or concerns once we got home. The piercing gun? Wielded by someone with a whole lot less training. Even the doctor’s offices here that will do piercings for patients, pierce with a gun.

Needle piercings are less traumatic. In every sense. A needle piercing actually removes a small bore of the ear, leaving a clean hole. To pierce the ear with a needle requires smooth precision. A piercing gun uses blunt force to shove a piercing through ear tissue, which traumatizes that tissue. It’s much more painful, and redness and minor swelling are common after these procedures.

Needle piercing is a cleaner procedure. All tattoo and piercing studios are overseen by DHEC. They are inspected and the piercing technicians must maintain several certifications, including blood borne pathogen training, CPR, and more. The technicians use sterile, single use needles. Gun piercings now are often done with single use guns, which is an improvement over the ones used in the past which are impossible to properly sterilize. Because of how gun piercings must be maintained — the twisting and turning — this often offers an opportunity for pathogens to enter the piercing, which can cause infections.

Needle piercings are much lower maintenance. After a needle piercing, all that’s needed is a rinse of salt water twice a day for a few days to help with healing. That’s it. No alcohol. No peroxide. No twisting. Just some salt water, squirted or dribbled around the piercing. My daughter says it tickles.

The cost? I found it actually pretty comparable. Usually a place like Claire’s offers free piercing with purchase of earrings. The ones my daughter liked there were about $30.00. I know there are cheaper options. The piercing studio ran about $25.00, and I tipped the technician. Even if the studio had cost a bit more, it would’ve been worth it. Why?

Better quality earrings. Yes, a place in the mall offers dozens of choices for the first piercing. But those earrings are made of lesser quality metals, often containing at least some nickel. The shaft is short, which is problematic if the ear starts to swell. The back is placed right up against the ear lobe, which doesn’t allow any room for the piercing to breathe, or drain. Their were only two choices at the piercing studio, but they were both made of high-grade metal, with shafts that were long enough for the back to be placed on them away from the ear lobe. This gives the earring some wiggle room to breathe and drain so it can heal properly, and quickly.

My daughter and I couldn’t be more thrilled with our experience at a piercing studio. Where did you get your child’s ear pierced and why?

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