Yes, I know, it’s a bit dramatic, and now we’re nearly two years in, so it’s not really much of a shock anymore.
Let me start with the disclaimer our society requires in order to know that the following words/thoughts/feelings are just a humorous rant or venting session; I love my children. I am thankful for them every day and in every moment, even the moments that are not so pretty. I couldn’t imagine life without them, nor do I want to. They are my world. See picture of said children below. Totes adorbs right?
OK, to the rant.
Yesterday morning, after dropping off the youngest, our oldest and I continued on to his elementary school. Every morning, we park and I walk him in the front door. We exchange hugs and kisses before he walks down the hall. I stand there and watch him until he rounds the corner out of my site. I was about to turn around and head out, when an interaction between a brother and sister caught my attention. I watched the brother, maybe 5th grade hand his little sister, maybe kindergarten or 1st grade, a bag and provide her with instructions for the bag. As she turned to walk to her class, he yelled out “I love you, have a good day.”
I almost lost it (motherhood has turned me into an emotional wreck). They weren’t my kids, but I saw my kids in that moment. The love and care that brother has for his sister, I see in my boys for each other and their little sister.
Getting in the car and heading to work, I started doing the math and realized, that could easily by my littles. When our oldest is in 5th grade, our middle will be in 3rd and our youngest in kindergarten. Bam. Three in elementary school. Three kids. We have three kids ranging from six to nearly two years old.
What the heck did we do to ourselves?!
To that affect, we get comments on the regular: “That’s so great they’re so close in age.” “They will be the best of friends as they grow up.” “What perfect age spacing.”
Y’all, I’m awaiting the day this age gap is prefect, because right now, it’s hell.
To give you the line-up, our oldest and middle are a bit over 2.5 years apart. Our middle and youngest are just under two years apart. So yes, for a bit of time, we had two under two, which was fun. The whole experience has been fun. Just so much fun.
The majority of days are overall good. Overall. Meaning, there are those moments throughout the day when I am about to lose my shiitake mushrooms. Those moments when we are in the car and they are all poking at each other. When big brother wants to be alone, but little brother and sister want to rip his room apart.
The best moments are when one child loses their cool and has a meltdown. I want to run for cover because I know it’s only a matter of time before the next “throwing a fit on the floor because of some ridiculous thing” child bomb goes off. Or when, because everyone is still at that stage where they love us and want to be around us 24/7 (awwww), everyone wants a parent to lay with them, but there’s only two of us. In these instances we do our best zone offence, but are often defeated (or at least we feel that way).
And let’s be real, it’s not just the literal deafening reminder of our lapse in judgement in regards to the age spacing of our children, it’s the financial burden of this. Since 2012, I have not left Target without at least one box of diapers. For a stretch of time, we paid over, wait for it, $2,400 a month in childcare (I throw up a bit in my mouth each time I talk about that). Not to mention all the trips to secondhand shops for clothes, because why would any of them have been born during the same seasons allowing us to hand-down entire wardrobes from child to child.
In conclusion folks, make a plan. Plan to space your kids out to allow for proper mental and financial readiness. Then burn your plan because life happens, but they’re obviously worth it.