I feel ugly.
Wait … am I allowed to say that?
I don’t want pity and I promise I’m not trying to get attention. I just feel like it’s finally time to face the big ugly truth staring at me in the mirror. My skin is a mess. Half of my clothes are stained with spit up. Don’t even get me started on whatever is going on with my hair.
Until today I have been blissfully unaware of my feelings, but something today hit me like a ton of bricks and this new truth is laying hard on my heart. I do not feel good about myself. I could sit here and try to figure out why… and maybe I should.
Maybe it’s the weight I’ve gained or the fact that some days I don’t even brush my hair. Maybe the guilt of just totally giving up became too much for my little subconscious to handle. So now what? What do you do when you realize you feel like crap about yourself?
Do Something That Makes you Feel Pretty
A haircut? A mani? A new outfit? Visiting the makeup counter at Belk for a makeup lesson? Whatever it is … do something ( or 10 somethings) that makes you feel good about the way you look. Sorry to be vain … but speaking truths here. I know it seems simple and maybe even cliche, but it works! You should know though, just sprucing up your outsides WON’T be enough. Ever. It’s a good, easy place to start … but it’s only the beginning.
Break Up with Your Routine
Being a mom can be a mundane job. Weekly schedules, appointments, and playdates are fun … but you can fall into too much of a routine. Guilty!!! So, mix it up a little bit! Do something new or even a little scary. Try ziplining or get the girls together to try out a new restaurant one night! Join a mom group or sit somewhere new at church. You don’t have to dye your hair bright pink (although I totally would) or start a rock band to add a little zest to your life.
Set Aside Self Care Time Every Week
When we first brought Milo home I set aside one night a week to take a long bath, do a face mask, paint my nails … whatever I felt like doing just for myself. In the last few months I’ve gotten out of that habit and I can tell it’s definitely had an effect on me. So pick a night, I like Mondays … and every week take an hour or 2 … or 3 … just to care for yourself. Maybe a relaxing bath isn’t your thing. Go for a long walk. Go to a coffee shop and read a book. Do something for just YOU and give yourself time alone with your thoughts.
Get Real with Your Partner
If part of your “mom funk” is because you feel overburdened, talk to your partner about it. Tell them why you feel the way you do and come to the table with ideas on how hey can help you manage your stress. Maybe you need them to pitch in with household chores or to help you out with carline. Maybe you just need someone to talk to and decompress with at the end of the day.
Know When to Ask for Help
Listen, we all have bad days. We all experience seasons in our lives that are harder than others. Sometimes, when it rains it pours … and sometimes when it rains you get a hole in your boat and find yourself slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean during monsoon season. I get it. Life is hard. Being a mom is hard. Sometimes just getting up is hard. But there’s a difference between being “in a funk” and dealing with something bigger. So if this doesn’t feel like your run of the mill funk, ask for help.
Bottom line, motherhood is not all sunshine and rainbows. No matter how much we love being mamas, motherhood is messy. It’s boogers, and poop, and tears, and totally lonely and overwhelming sometimes. It’s OK to say that out loud and it’s OK to put yourself first!