Getting Out of the Mom Funk

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I feel ugly. 

Wait … am I allowed to say that?

I don’t want pity and I promise I’m not trying to get attention. I just feel like it’s finally time to face the big ugly truth staring at me in the mirror. My skin is a mess. Half of my clothes are stained with spit up. Don’t even get me started on whatever is going on with my hair.

Until today I have been blissfully unaware of my feelings, but something today hit me like a ton of bricks and this new truth is laying hard on my heart. I do not feel good about myself. I could sit here and try to figure out why… and maybe I should.

Maybe it’s the weight I’ve gained or the fact that some days I don’t even brush my hair. Maybe the guilt of just totally giving up became too much for my little subconscious to handle. So now what? What do you do when you realize you feel like crap about yourself? 

Do Something That Makes you Feel Pretty

A haircut? A mani? A new outfit? Visiting the makeup counter at Belk for a makeup lesson? Whatever it is … do something ( or 10 somethings) that makes you feel good about the way you look. Sorry to be vain … but speaking truths here. I know it seems simple and maybe even cliche, but it works! You should know though, just sprucing up your outsides WON’T be enough. Ever. It’s a good, easy place to start … but it’s only the beginning. 

Break Up with Your Routine

Being a mom can be a mundane job. Weekly schedules, appointments, and playdates are fun … but you can fall into too much of a routine. Guilty!!! So, mix it up a little bit! Do something new or even a little scary. Try ziplining or get the girls together to try out a new restaurant one night! Join a mom group or sit somewhere new at church. You don’t have to dye your hair bright pink (although I totally would) or start a rock band to add a little zest to your life. 

Set Aside Self Care Time Every Week

When we first brought Milo home I set aside one night a week to take a long bath, do a face mask, paint my nails … whatever I felt like doing just for myself. In the last few months I’ve gotten out of that habit and I can tell it’s definitely had an effect on me. So pick a night, I like Mondays … and every week take an hour or 2 … or 3 … just to care for yourself. Maybe a relaxing bath isn’t your thing. Go for a long walk. Go to a coffee shop and read a book. Do something for just YOU and give yourself time alone with your thoughts. 

Get Real with Your Partner

If part of your “mom funk” is because you feel overburdened, talk to your partner about it. Tell them why you feel the way you do and come to the table with ideas on how hey can help you manage your stress. Maybe you need them to pitch in with household chores or to help you out with carline. Maybe you just need someone to talk to and decompress with at the end of the day. 

Know When to Ask for Help

Listen, we all have bad days. We all experience seasons in our lives that are harder than others. Sometimes, when it rains it pours … and sometimes when it rains you get a hole in your boat and find yourself slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean during monsoon season. I get it. Life is hard. Being a mom is hard. Sometimes just getting up is hard. But there’s a difference between being “in a funk” and dealing with something bigger. So if this doesn’t feel like your run of the mill funk, ask for help. 

Bottom  line, motherhood is not all sunshine and rainbows. No matter how much we love being mamas, motherhood is messy. It’s boogers, and poop, and tears, and totally lonely and overwhelming sometimes.  It’s OK to say that out loud and it’s OK to put yourself first!

What do you do to get yourself out of the mom funk?

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Carey Shofner
Originally from Indiana, Carey moved to South Carolina in 2009. She and her husband, Brett, met during college at USC and now reside in Forest Acres. She is an elementary school teacher turned stay-at-home mom to two wonderful boys. After struggling with infertility for years, their son, Milo, joined their family in November of 2017 through domestic adoption. In March of 2020 baby River joined the family via embryo adoption. In addition to being a SAHM, Carey works in Social Media Management, is a babywearing educator, and a postpartum doula. She enjoys writing, iced coffee, road trips, and connecting with other mamas online. Her passions include adoption ethics and education, infertility, mental health advocacy, plus size life, and social justice issues. You can follow Carey’s motherhood journey and more on Instagram at MessyAsAMother.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Oh this is so perfect. I began a new routine last week. A friend of mine asked me to workout in the mornings with her. So because I knew (and God had a plan) that I needed to do something I agreed. So when the weekend passed and I hoped this friend forgot I get a message…”see you tomorrow morning!!” The first morning sucked. I had every excuse lined up to give. But something inside me made myself go. The fact of being awake at 5 am sounds like a burden. But that little change, 45 mins of me time sweating and laughing and being “alive” has changed my entire mindset.

    I was in a funk, on meds for a real life funk, but now I feel capable, able, and energized. I may not love the look I have or the weight I am, but I love the way I’m starting to feel. Baby steps right?!

    Love your blog lady and love the truths you speak! 😍

    • I always dread a new workout routine… but man do I feel better once I get started! Go you mama for getting in some “me time” and taking care of your mind, body, and soul! <3

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