First of all, I have to tell you, my audience, that I failed twice in saving this post draft. I lost this post twice. I failed at writing a post about failure. #FAIL
Life can be funny like that sometimes.
My Own Experiences
I experienced a big failure recently, as in I only have one more chance EVER to fix it or “game over.” It got me thinking a lot about failure and how we frame it in our lives.
It did not feel good. It is one thing to fail when you are not really wanting it badly or not trying hard. It is quite another to fail at something you are trying and giving your all.
But sometimes getting through our disappointments is really about how we look at those failings, and what we learn from them.
Sometimes you have to let yourself mourn what never will be. And sometimes you have to dust yourself off and try again. My first reaction with my failure was to walk away from it – to take what little dignity I had left and run far, far away. Fight or flight? Definitely, flight.
After sleeping on it, I decided to give it one last shot. Even if I fail again, I will always know that I tried. I will never wonder, “What if?” (Read: Do not make rash decision.)
Changing the Conversation
Failure is a part of life. It is not an easy one, but it is a part of it.
But you do not succeed at everything you try. In fact, being unsuccessful can create opportunities for learning and growth.
We rarely talk about our failures as much as our successes. You do not see those on people’s social media. And that can lead to you thinking that everyone else’s life is working out better than yours. The truth is that social media is everyone’s highlight reel and not the reality of the day-to-day ups and downs. Try not to base the course of your life on the track someone else is on.
What I have learned through failing is that our responses can be more important than anything else.
How to Keep Your Head Up When Things Go Wrong
When I think about failure, I like to watch this clip about famous people and influences who have failed. It makes me feel better to be in the company of such great individuals who achieved success, but also failed. I am not saying that I am great, but they failed immensely and then succeeded … so maybe I can too.
Watch Something Inspiring
Yep. Turn on the TV. There are so many examples of people facing disappointment in the shows we watch. Sometimes it helps us realize we are not alone. Failure is a universal experience!
I was watching an episode of Girl Meets World (Season 2, Episode 19, “Girl Meets Rah Rah” if you are interested), and I thought about how it would be perfect to include in this post. It is about a girl trying over and over to achieve something and being turned away each time. Well, no spoilers, but the episode is not entirely about total failure.
Read A Book
There are lots of books that help with motivation and bouncing back from a disappointment. You can even find quotes online to keep your chin up when you feel let down.
One of my favorite quotes is from Teddy Roosevelt:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Find Music to Change Your Mood
When I have been thinking about failure, I have been playing inspirational songs to remind me to keep trying.
- Gary Allan, “Every Storm”
- Sara Bareilles, “Chasing the Sun”
- Wilson Phillips, “Hold On”
- The Strange Familiar, “Courage Is”
- Carrie Underwood, “Play On”
Life Lessons Learned
- Failure is a part of life.
- Failure is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it is a reset button to get you to a better place than you would have arrived before.
- You can reframe failure. Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
- Sometimes no matter how hard you try, you fail. Other great people have failed too. (See #1.)
- Failure can help you grow.
Here is my parting thought about failure. Listen to this Rocky speech and maybe, just maybe be inspired.
