The days between Rosh HaShanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the “Day of Atonement,” are ten of the most important days in the Jewish faith tradition. These “Days of Awe” or “Days of Repentance” are set aside for self-reflection. One of the things we are encouraged to do is identify the ways we’ve hurt people and attempt to make it right.
This year is no different than the almost forty-something years that have come before it: I’m sorry for a lot. As I began thinking of the many things I wish I had done differently, I had an epiphany – one that admittedly may not be popular (apologies to my Rabbi): there are five things I have apologized for in the past for which I’m no longer sorry.
I’m not sorry for being assertive.
As I’ve gotten older and more secure with myself and what I know I know, I’ve found my voice. I’m no longer afraid to use it, and I’m not sorry for using it. It’s possible to be both kind and professional while being assertive – and I’m sorry for any unkindness I exhibited this year – but I’m not sorry for standing up for what I know to be true.
I’m not sorry for trying to make people think.
I am truly sorry if my Facebook posts are obnoxious. I’m actually not trying to get you to vote for someone you don’t like, to join a cause you don’t believe in, or to protest something you care nothing about. Even though I know I’m not going to agree with the article that so-and-so posted, I more times than not will read it to see if it contains something I hadn’t considered. Being exposed to alternative perspectives is how we grow and open our minds. Block me if you must, but I’m not sorry for presenting another viewpoint.
I’m not sorry for attempting to set healthy boundaries.
When I was younger, I often felt like I had all the time in the world. Getting a work call after hours wasn’t such a big deal – it’ll just take five minutes. What’s five minutes? The older I get, the more valuable “just five minutes” are becoming. Five minutes is the difference between me listening to my child excitedly tell me about his day and him shutting down because he thinks I’m not listening. Five minutes means one more dance before dinner, one more pretend lap around the “pool” (bathtub), one more story before bed. I know how frustrating it is to want an answer that moment, but I’m not sorry for being selfish with my time.
I’m not sorry for saying “no” for the sake of my sanity.
I know there’s a trend right now to saying yes to everything. I get – in theory – that it could be a fun experiment and you could find things you didn’t realize you were missing. Sometimes I really want to say “yes” to a girls’ night out or to whatever has been posed, but I know if I don’t get sleep or don’t do whatever I couldn’t do if I said yes, it would make my life more difficult. Life is hard enough without my complicating it further. I’m sorry if I unintentionally hurt your feelings by saying “no.” I will say “yes” as much as I can, but if I say “no,” it’s because I’m taking care of me, and I’m not sorry for that.
I’m not sorry for being imperfectly human.
I have spent many moments this year saying “sorry” to my kid for losing my patience, overreacting, and getting angry. While I will always strive to be better, I’m not sorry that he sees my flaws. I’m not sorry that he is learning his mommy has feelings. I’m not sorry that when he is being too hard on himself he can remember how imperfect I was and forgive himself for being human.
Awww I love you take time to make sure Brody knows what he says is important to his mom!
All great points ?