Passionate About Columbia SC
and the Moms Who Live Here

Let’s Talk About Fear and Bathrooms

Let’s talk about Fear and Bathrooms - Columbia SC Moms BlogMy Facebook newsfeed is full of the Target boycott. I have seen posts from both those who think the boycott is irrational, fear mongering at best … and those in full support of the boycott as they feel any God-fearing, Christian parent should be up in arms about Target’s policy. In case you haven’t heard, hundreds of thousands of Americans have signed an online petition to boycott Target because of their inclusivity statement, which states that Target guests can choose to use whichever restroom aligns with their gender identity.

In all of the subsequent uproar, what I’m given to understand from my friends who support this boycott is they are not necessarily afraid of the trans-men or trans-women who will (continue) to join them in the restroom. What has these parents concerned is that there may be, or are, men who take advantage of Target’s decision to prey on young children by pretending to be transgender to gain entrance to the women’s restroom. While I can understand these fears, I don’t share them. My worst public restroom fears have nothing to do with transgender people, or those that might impersonate them.

Here are my worst public restroom phobias:

I’m afraid one of my three kids will open the stall or bathroom door while I’m half naked, thereby exposing an entire group of strangers to the sight of my granny panties. Or worse, my sexy ones!

I fear that one of them will lock themselves in a stall and I’ll not be able to get them out without help. And yes, one of my children has done this. I won’t say who. But I will admit having to crawl under the next stall and drag that child back under with me. I’m just glad it wasn’t one of those stalls that has an actual locking door with no crawl space.

Every time I take them all to multi-stall bathroom, I worry that one of them will try to escape into the store while I’m helping another use the bathroom, or God forbid, using it myself.

I wonder if one day, one of my adorable children will push the auto-flush button too many times and overflow the toilet (I say one of them, but I really know which one would do this. I just don’t want to point a finger at him. Or her.)

I worry that they will clog up a toilet with too much toilet paper – or a toy or some other object that really should not be *in* the toilet.

I pray that they don’t ask me loud, personal questions while other people are in the bathroom with us. I pray even harder they don’t direct their loud, personal questions those same people.

I’m always afraid I’ll forget to remember to remind them to wash their hands. Bathroom germs are the worst. And I’m not particularly germaphobic!

I worry I’ll forget a change of clothes for a kid. Accidents do happen, and I’m rarely prepared for them – three kids, and you would think this would not be the case. But alas, I’m usually woefully unprepared for these incidents. So this fear has been realized. I really don’t want to carry a half naked kid around Target. Thank God for dresses and baby carriers!

What’s your worst, potentially amusing or embarrassing bathroom fear with kids? I’ve spilled the beans, now it’s your turn!

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