Dear daughters,
I know you are no longer little girls with multiple ponytails and barrettes and carrying around your “lovey.” But that is often what I still see. Glimpses of those little babies, but also so much more as you get older. I can’t even express how proud I am of how you’re navigating challenging situations and how grown you already seem.
I also know that these years are just as important as they are difficult. But I promise life gets better after middle school and high school. Friends are truer, relationships are deeper, and love appears in unexpected places. Don’t waste your time on people who are not present to build you up. Find the person or group of people who celebrate you, and guard your heart against those who don’t. You already know who they are. You know which ones are worthy of you. Be true to your instincts.
I hope you can celebrate the amazing things that make you uniquely you.
I know that’s such a mom thing to say, but it really is true. And I hope that when you look in the mirror, you can try to see what I see. Strength, brilliance, bright light, power, beauty beyond your makeup, opportunity, youth.
Every time I cringe at my appearance in a bathing suit, every time I complain about number of calories, every time I’m not being my best self, I am failing to show you what is valuable about you. I would hate to think that the pressure I put on myself would ever cause you damage. You aren’t responsible for the burden of my own inner demons. I’m trying to do better, and I hope the collective “we” is showing you that there is more to your own self-worth and value than your physical appearance.
I hope you see the world move forward to become a better place for you to work and live.
I hope you know that YOU are in control. Of your body, your mind, your soul. It is NEVER too late to say no. Don’t sacrifice yourself or your feelings for fear of making someone else uncomfortable. Even when you think you’ve gone too far, you can always say that out loud. And you can say no. The world we live in requires you to be smart and to be brave. But the good news is, you are smart, and you are brave. Find your voice. And don’t silence it.
This stuff that’s a huge deal right now? It is a big deal.
You are allowed your feelings and your turmoil. And so many people love you and will help you through it. There is nothing you can do that will make me love you less. I hope I never give the impression that I’m disappointed. I’m never disappointed in you, daughter, but my heart hurts and aches when yours does. You have so much life to live and you don’t have to try to fit all the things into just these four years of high school. Slow down. Don’t rush. You have a whole life left of experiences.
I know you’ll open up to me as much as you are comfortable, and I hope you’ll regain strength in my arms, find knowledge from my experiences, and feel love surrounding you forever and always. We’ll get through this together.
