Like, even though you chose to be a stay-at-home mom, it is really really hard … harder than you ever expected and you wonder if you made the right choice. Then, when you think on it a little longer you know you made the right choice, but you also just feel like you’re out there floundering. Am I doing this all wrong?
Since becoming a mom almost a year and a half ago, I have to say I seem to feel like that a lot. I wouldn’t change a thing. I love being home with our daughter, but sometimes it is so hard. I feel like I spend my day herding a toddler, washing dishes, preparing food, and spending money that I don’t make. And I feel guilty when I slog through the laundry or complain about my day being long, because while other people were out there working hard outside the home, I was home. Am I doing this all wrong?
Sometimes I see these other moms, you know the ones I’m talking about. These moms who look amazing … they have shiny, clean hair, beautiful makeup and are dressed as though they are about to spend the day popping in and out of boutiques. I’ll be honest … when I see them I am amazed … a little jealous even. It’s like they have it all together and here I am, a year and a half later having put effort into my “look” for my Target run and I catch a glimpse of myself and realize that despite my best efforts … I look like a hot mess. Am I doing this all wrong?
I know these people are good moms because I know them. I know their children. These women are rock stars, but they make me question myself. Am I doing this all wrong?
How do you do it? How do you get out the door looking like a movie star with your adorable baby dressed in her smocked outfit with her bow just right … while I’m over here pouring sweat (because it is South Carolina and it is about a thousand degrees) with frizzy hair and makeup that looks non-existent? Am I doing this all wrong?
How is it that each day you have a creative activity prepared for your eager toddler, while I’m standing by with my toddler just trying to get her to color ON THE PAPER ONLY? Am I doing this all wrong?
How is it that you manage to volunteer or chair a committee with the Junior League? How is it that you have a fresh manicure AND a clean, beautifully decorated house? Am I doing this all wrong?
In the midst of all of this questioning, when I feel like I’ve lost myself, someone asks me how I do it. Someone asks me how I make it look so easy. Someone asks me how I am able to still be me, keep my identity. And after I pick my jaw up off the floor … I wonder if we’re all looking at each other thinking the same thing. Am I doing this all wrong?