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An Open Letter to the Mom Sitting Alone in Church

An Open Letter to the Mom Sitting Alone in Church - Columbia SC Moms Blog

We live in the south where there is a church on just about every street corner and almost everyone you know attends one of them. It’s a huge part of family life. For many, it shapes the way they parent, their relationship with their spouse, and how they live their day-to-day life.

My family growing up was no exception. We went to church three times a week – Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday evening. I learned a lot of great values I carried with me into adulthood … values I wanted for my children as well.

Like most young girls and women, I had an idea in my mind of what married life with children would look like. For me, it included attending church as family … husband and all. When I met the man I would one day call my husband, I was happy he had a similar upbringing … although his was slightly different in that his father never attended with the family.

Similar Backgrounds … Different Results

My husband and I began our relationship with both of us having children from prior relationships. At the time, I was not attending church regularly, but always envisioned that one day when we became a family we would all go to church together. He didn’t share this same mindset. His thought? If we didn’t attend church when we first met, why would we go now? Valid argument, but it was still something I wanted for me and my family.

The Reality of These Differences in Married Life

Nowadays, I usually take our four children to church by myself. Occasionally he will attend with us. It’s so hard on me emotionally when he doesn’t go. I wish he were one of those husbands who woke up on Sunday morning and encouraged his family to attend church … but he’s not one of them.

Sometimes I miss Sundays just because I don’t want to go sit alone.

I wish I had another adult to discuss the message with afterwards.

It makes me sad to see families there together – mom, dad, and kids – when I am there sitting alone.

Regardless, I know I am not alone. I know there are moms out there who take their children to church every Sunday by themselves. I know because I see you sitting there alone in the crowd.

I know it’s hard to make the decision and put plans in motion to get yourself and your kids ready for church every Sunday and out of the house. Maybe your husband is deployed, working, hunting, or is just at home because he doesn’t want to go to church. Regardless, you are doing what you feel is important for you and your family. And THAT makes a difference.

I want you to know that I see you. I want you to know that you matter.

Do you go to church alone?

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2 Responses to An Open Letter to the Mom Sitting Alone in Church

  1. Brandi Cade
    Brandi Cade July 17, 2016 at 10:10 pm #

    Lauren, Thank you for this. Yes, I’m that mom…only difference is I take 3 kids instead of 4 with me. It is hard sometimes, but I finally learned that I have to do what is best for my spiritual life. For my walk with Jesus. My husband will show up for events or to help cook once in a while…so less than a handful of times a year. The hardest is my kids asking me, “Why doesn’t daddy go to church too? I want daddy to go.” I look to some of the men in my church who have shared their stories of leaving the church, not going when their kids were younger, etc. These men are now some of the most passionate, service oriented men in the church. They give me hope that one day my husband will attend and will believe. I pray daily for this to happen. May you continue to stay strong and keep walking by faith. Love in Christ, Brandi

  2. David N. December 20, 2016 at 9:20 pm #

    I am a father who goes alone a lot of the time and in our congregation I see more men sitting alone than women. It sucks to be unequally yolked and if I had known this years ago things may have turned out differently.

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