Why Push Presents Aren’t Stupid

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As someone who is a fan of push presents and the well-intentioned meaning behind the gesture, I was taken aback by an article claiming push presents are stupid. In fact, I had to read it a few times to understand exactly what her distaste was.

Hear me out … I was blessed and privileged to be able to conceive my daughter naturally, without medical intervention. I was also able to “push” her into this world by means of a wonderful doctor and nursing staff (Thank you CMC-Charlotte!) and this incredible thing called an epidural.

As my family and friends passed our amazing creation from arm to arm, I had a few moments of peace and quiet to relish laying in my partner’s arms and enjoy hearing what a goddess he thought I was. It was at this time that he presented me with a simple box, tied with a black ribbon. I wasn’t expecting anything, but I was overjoyed with the thought and appreciation in which it was handed to me.

When I opened it, I was in awe! It was a lovely bangle bracelet, complete with our daughters’ birthstone and once it was slipped over my wrist, it has never left it. For over two years. And I don’t plan on ever removing it.

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There are all kinds of ways that people become parents. And there are several ways children are welcomed into their arms – there are the heroes of adopting children, the majestic women who undergo c-section, the revered family members who inherit children of those who may not be capable of raising a child.

Perhaps the term “push present” is the big offender here because it doesn’t encompass all of the passages that children go through to meet their parents.

The blog author who was so vehemently adamant about the term went so far as to say that “no one needs a present for birthing a child. Because the child is the present!” Rightly so. A child – by means of any birthing method – is a gift and a true inheritance from a divine source. However, a small material token of appreciation from a friend or family member to a new mother has been going on for centuries – far removed from the “celebrity fad” that the “push present” has become.

In India, it is customary for new mothers to be given gold bangles symbolizing the hope for a long and thriving life for the child.

Among the Bantu peoples of Africa, a fresh cowhide was traditionally presented to the mother shortly after birth to serve as a protective piece of clothing or sleeping mat for the infant.

Bagels became the officially sanctioned gift for new mothers in 17th century Poland, where they were used as nutritious teething rings.

It is common in Chinese culture to offer a monetary gift up to one month after childbirth.

In England, the longstanding custom of giving rings to mothers after labor is still popular.

Any person who demands a gift for any reason is someone who in my opinion is undeserving. However, to bestow upon a new mother a sentimental token of appreciation and celebration of her new addition is a concept that I will continue to support and fight for.

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Instead of “push present” being the term used for these tokens, I would like to coin the phrase “bestowed blessing” because whether it be the child, a kind embrace, a piece of jewelry, getting up in the middle of the night to change a diaper, a foot rub or a loving note, as a new mom any of these are gift enough.

What are your thoughts on push presents?

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Brandi
Brandi’ Starbuck is a recent transplant to the Columbia, SC area from Charlotte, NC where she met her husband, Bryan, and where they welcomed their first baby girl, Mackenzie. Now living in Blythewood, SC with a spirited, fun-loving 2-year-old (who looks exactly like her daddy, but acts just like mama) and expecting their second baby (a boy!) at the first of April, they are thrilled to call the Midlands home! Brandi’ juggles working full-time, outside the home, as a property manager of an apartment community in Northeast Columbia, keeping Mackenzie entertained, and occasionally enjoying a date night with her handsome hubby! Lover of shoes, social media resale shops, and all Pinterest recipe boards, she is excited (and terrified) to have two young children and can’t wait to share her journey with others in her writing. Along with their three small dogs that were their first “babies,” they are one small addition away from completing their family! You can expect to see the Starbuck family strolling along the Villages at Sandhill on the weekends, with a cliché and loved cup of Starbucks coffee in their hands, wearing matching tees purchased from a mom-owned Instagram shop.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Absolutely!! I received gifts (unexpectedly) after the births of all my children and they are my most cherished possessions to this day. Truly a ‘bestowed blessing’!

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