After a period of being a stay-at-home mom, I returned to work when my daughter, Lucie, was 16 months old. It was important to me to be able to find a company that was a good match for me and for my family, so I could have a career I loved and still have time for my family. As much as companies were interviewing me to find out if I’d be a good employee, I was interviewing them to find out if I wanted to have a career with them. What I was seeking was work/life balance.
What is work/life balance?
Balance, to me, means having a successful career and still having time to spend with your family. The first part of finding work/life balance is love your family. The second is to find a career that you love with a company you believe in, not just a job to pay the bills. Why are these two things so important to achieving balance? First, you want to have a desire to come home at the end of the day and be happy at what you are coming home to. Second, you don’t want to resent the company you are employed with for the time you spend away from your family.
When I interviewed at the organization I currently work for, there was a company magazine in the sitting area which I read as I waited for my one-on-one. This magazine talked about a CEO taking paternity leave to spend time with his son. Then the manager who interviewed me spoke about needing a life outside of work and about work/life balance being important. It seemed like a no-brainer. I prayed to get this job, and was so excited when I finally received an offer.
Putting it into practice
At first, finding balance was difficult, as I was assigned a shift from Thursday through Monday from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. That meant my weekends were pretty much gone. I had two days home midweek to spend with Lucie, but I never had a day off with my husband unless I was sick — which happened too frequently, as I became pregnant after just two months of employment and I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (aka extreme morning sickness).
In January 2014, I was offered the opportunity to change to an afternoon/evening shift, from 4 p.m. to 1 a.m. As I am naturally a night owl, I jumped at the opportunity. In fact, this was the shift I’d hoped for when I accepted the job.
The shift change has made things much easier. I am able to visit the doctor for myself and my children, and care for my kids if they are sick during the day. As a bonus, my attendance has become more consistent at work because I don’t have to take time off. This helped especially in the third trimester of my pregnancy, when my obstetrician appointments became more frequent. Now, I am able to come home for dinner almost every night, and my husband has our meals hot and ready on the table.
This is all a seesaw, if you will. Balance is difficult to achieve and to maintain. Sometimes your work life dominates; sometimes your family life does. But if balance is important to you, you’ll keep working toward it.
Evaluating my situation
To be honest, I still haven’t found balance completely, more than a full year after rejoining the workforce. Most weeks, my housework is the aspect of my life that suffers the most. I am grateful that my husband has helped me in this area, but it is something I will freely admit I need to work on. Time management is not my strong suit, and I am worse at managing my time when I am overtired. I can see and recognize my weaknesses; and admitting them is my greatest strength, because being honest with myself and my family is key to achieving balance.
Honesty is also important when evaluating whether your work/life balance is out of whack. In my case, I knew there was a problem when my daughter started begging me, “Mommy, pwease don’t go back to work!” after dinner. She does this almost every night, and that is a signal that I need a change in order to be present for my children when they need me most. Right now, that appears to be at bedtime, reading stories to them. When a day shift position becomes available, I will definitely be applying for it.
And so the seesaw tips the other way. Balance requires constant adjustment. But I’ll keep working at it, and I’m getting closer every day.
Do you feel you’ve achieved work/life balances? Or are you struggling to make it all work? Share your story in the comments.