For most, Valentine’s Day is a day love. A day to celebrate that love through an act of appreciation to or from the one you love. Appreciation is usually illustrated in the form of hand written notes, boxes of chocolates, stuffed animals, and balloons.
For elementary aged children, Valentine’s Day is a cute celebration of paper cards with your child’s favorite cartoon character accompanied with a love note and some sugary candy.
I’m one of those moms who is not big on letting my child eat a lot of sugar-induced snacks, artificial dyes, and flavoring; but as the parent, who is already corrupted by this stuff, I looked forward to sending my elementary child to school on Valentine’s Day to return home with his bag of goodies. I enjoy it so much that this next line is dedicated to all the moms out there who created cute little Pinterest crafts for each of the students in your child’s room or to the mothers who had the time to bake heart shaped, cream filled cupcakes. On behalf of all mothers who are were willing to digest it all for their children, we thank you. 🙂
For most children as they enter the preteen stage, a shift occurs in how Valentine’s Day is celebrated at school. Kids graduate from cards and candy to stress and social anxiety, as Valentine’s Day becomes a popularity contest. Boys are competing for the attention of girls and girls may be manipulating boys into bringing them a gift. Meanwhile, your child’s self esteem may be at risk if they do not participant in this social illusion of love and likes.
This may or may not be occurring at your child’s middle and high school but if it does, here are some ways to prepare you for the peer pressure your child may be facing during Valentine’s Day and what you as a parent can do about it.
- Identify signs and changes in behavior. If your child is suddenly not a fan of Valentine’s Day or mysteriously gets sick to avoid going to school, maybe something is going on that needs to be explored.
- Educate your teens on self love and respect. Discuss healthy vs. unhealthy relationships and how to identify them. What may look like an innocent gift request or exchange, could be a means to gain control over your son or daughter through manipulation and abuse.
- If your teen was dating and is no longer in a relationship, Valentine’s Day maybe hard for them, especially since they have to see their former love interest at school with a new girl/guy. Brighten their day by sending flowers or candy to their school.
- Include you child in Valentine’s Day celebrations. Commemorate the event with dinner and a movie, or baking a sweet treat together as a family. If your child social anxiety is severe, consider allowing them to miss school so that you can and use the opportunity to bond with them in other ways such as helping the less fortunate or creating new memories.
