Since the beginning of the second week in July, my local Walmart has had the “Back to School” supplies out — front and center. I couldn’t believe it. I am sure some parents would have seen this debacle and sang Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus in their heads like I do most years…
But this year was different. I was heartbroken.
As soon as I saw it I stopped dead in my tracks — “NO! It’s still July!” A sense of sadness overwhelmed me. I’m not ready for my firstborn, my only son, to start 5th grade, his last year of elementary school.
I’M. NOT. READY.
I’m not ready for school dances, puberty, middle school crushes, and all of the things that come along with growing up. It seems just like yesterday he was learning how to tie his shoes and ride a bike without training wheels. I’m scared and excited for him all at the same time!
I’m going to cherish this last year of elementary school.
Sometimes my son, who is ten, still comes over to me, gives me a hug, and sits on my lap. Earlier today he wrapped his arms around me and said, “I love you, sweet Mama.”
I wonder, when will this end?
When will it be not cool anymore to show me affection? I used to push him away and say, “You are hurting my legs” or “It’s too hot for that” when he would sit on my lap … but not lately.
Nowadays, I hold him tight, I breathe in his childhood scent, close my eyes, feel the happiness, and wish that moment could last forever. He still asks for me to sing him a song occasionally before he goes to sleep … lately, I’ve been saying okay to that too.
There will come a day, in the not-so-distant future, when he will no longer come to me for “mama cuddles.” One day he will stop asking me to sing him a song before bedtime.
Thankfully, today is not that day.
