The daily conversation I have with myself:
“Do I stink?!” Probably. When exactly do I have time to shower?
“I really need to cook dinner.” Is that before or after my 2-year-old hangs onto my leg for dear life for an hour?
“I want to read my book so bad right now. I guess I’ll be up until 5 a.m. reading since it’s the only time I actually can…and then I’ll just be a complete dysfunctional zombie tomorrow.”
“Sit down and eat your meal with your kids, Simone.” No thank you. I’d much rather enjoy my food than scream at my kids between bites.
“You will not leave the house in yoga pants again! You will put your face on today!”
Where Did My Personal Time Go?
I thought reality hit me once my second child became more mobile, but nope. I knew nothing. She is now two and things have gotten REAL. Gone are the days where I can sit on the couch and enjoy a 30 minute sitcom. Nope. Or how about sitting alone? That surely doesn’t happen. My kids aren’t happy and content unless they are ON me. Next to me will not suffice.
The {Unbearable} Carpool Line
I had to buy a DVD player for the car because car rider line at school became so unbearable. My youngest suddenly hated the car. We all know how fast the car rider line moves (that’s a joke) so it was a fun 30 minutes of her screaming and me blasting whatever I could find on the radio just to drown out the screams. But sometimes even Baby Einstein doesn’t help.
The Clingy Toddler
We traipse to one of the many play dates so we can get out of the house and I can feel like I’m doing my job as a mom by keeping my kid and myself active…only for her to want to be on my lap the entire time. We go to the park only for her yet again to still be on my lap the entire time.
Using the Bathroom
When I go to the bathroom I no longer find it amusing when she tries to figure out what’s between my closed legs, or her cute little attempts to hand me toilet paper. I really would just love to pee alone.
Connecting With My Partner and Making Time For Me
No one understands why I’m up until 5 a.m. but it’s really quite simple. After I eat, I love to watch mindless television to unwind. Right now I’m enjoying Gossip Girl (don’t you dare tell me who she is … or he!). Eventually my husband gets home from work and we watch whatever is on the DVR together and play gin rummy. It’s the only time we have to connect one-on-one.
Then each of us enjoys our alone time. If I didn’t have this time for myself, I’m sure I would have gone mad a long time ago. It’s the one time I feel like I have the opportunity to do something for myself…something I love. For me, it’s reading. Nothing relaxes me more and helps me unwind then escaping into the fictional universe of another person’s story.
Would Working Be a Better Option?
When my daughter is hanging on my leg, and my kids are each demanding something from me and I can’t seem to catch my breath, these are the moments I wonder what it would be like if I worked outside the home again.
While it wasn’t a vacation, it was a breather from my kids. Yes I’m always on my feet, yes I feel like crying sometimes, yes they do drive me crazy, yes I am tired of dealing with meltdowns all day, no I don’t ever get a spare moment (not one) and yes it is hard.
But as fast as I think about what it would be like to get away for a few hours to another job besides mommy, my heart aches for the kids that have already gotten so big and I know that this is where I belong.
Gosh they drive me crazy…but I wouldn’t want to do anything else. This is the plight of the stay-at-home mom.