I was scrolling through my Instagram feed a few days ago when I saw a fellow mom blogger’s post about being mom-shamed by a cyber bully. The mom blogger has one of those cute letterboard photo feeds where she posts all the things moms think but don’t get to say outloud. The “troll” that commented on one of the posts said “You sure do complain a lot. You shouldn’t have been allowed to have any of those little blessings.” As my dear friend, Katie Stevens, wrote in her recent Columbia SC Moms Blog post – I LOST my SHITAKE MUSHROOMS just then.
First of all, when and why does this thing we call MOM-shaming exist? And when did people start creating fake social media accounts to beat people up online?
I will be the first one to say outloud – standing up, tall and PROUD – being a mom is HARD. It’s one of the most thankless, physically demanding, exhausting, and mentally draining roles a person will ever take on. Because I am there for every single milestone, most every vomit-catching, snot-wiping, Cheeto-encrusted moment, I have the RIGHT to complain as much as I darn well want to. And if I take to social media or my blog or my friend circle to rant and vent and you don’t like it – then keep on scrolling.
I had a really rough week last week. To the point where I texted my friends, “I am struggling. I would like to hurl myself out of the 2nd floor bedroom window.” And the response I got was, “Don’t do it. You will only break a leg and that will suck.” (FIND these women in your tribe – you need them.)
We got together two days later and one of my momentors (MOM-Mentors) said, “There are nights I lay in bed and think ‘What if I wasn’t in this life right now? What if I just got up and left?'” I was so relieved to hear these thoughts and embraced her immediately. Thankfully she knows I’m not a sociopath and she hugged me right back.
The truth is we are blessed and so grateful to have the privilege of being entrusted with the caretaking of these precious little humans. We love them harder than we ever thought possible. And most of our time is spent dedicated to their constant care and attention. But in doing so, we have those thoughts that we want to run away. We want to drift off on a beach somewhere without having to rub sunblock on a slippery body and hear “Watch me, Mommy!” a million times when all we want to do is read our book or (GASP!) just fall asleep to the sound of the ocean waves.
And if anyone has anything to say about that – do yourself a favor and keep on scrolling. They’re my children and I’ll rant if I want to.