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Why Do I Care So Much About Her?

Why Do I Care So Much About Her? | Columbia SC Moms BlogWhy do I care so much about her English grade? She clearly feels she has it covered and all will be okay. Is that not enough for me?

Okay. Let’s pause for a minute. We have 12 school days left. It is her junior year and we are relying on a substitute to rectify our grading issue.

If this turns out bad, I will have a distraught child and left wondering why I did not act on this sooner. I think it is that good ole “mom guilt” sprouting up again!

Then I stood there staring at the wall of my special needs classroom. When I snapped out of the daze, it took me less than one minute to throw together an email and push the send button.

I could hear her now, “Mom! Now my teacher is going to think that I am so immature!”

I would rather ask my teenager for forgiveness, than killing myself with the trillion “why did I not” afterthoughts.

Phew! I almost lived to regret this moment, and I have way too many of those already.

How on earth did my mother survive this four times? And how did grandma handle her five? What meant the most to them about motherhood?

Looking back grandma was always full of love for everyone and huge on hospitality. I remember always being surrounded with food! YUMMMM. I could even smell her food now.

There were so many parties. A birthday, Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and “just because” it is time to eat days. Grandma was at the center of all the cooking.

She always had on the biggest smile. I could tell her heart was full. Her motherhood strength was loving her family through constant fellowship, and she used her awesome food to get us all together. Ha! What a smart cookie!

Screaming grandkids, fussing adult children, whiny spouses, and even a few friends and neighbors were in the mix. Grandma thrived at being hospitable choosing to go without on many occasions to fill a need.

She served us all with abundant love. That is what defined and filled her motherhood journey.

Since my mother was a single mom, homemade food was not always tasty. It took us a while to complain, though. I think it was because grandma fed us a few times per week. LOL!

Now my mother was the law in our home, of course. She was firm and consistent with every thing she did. Whenever she set out to achieve a goal, she was focused.

She finished her education, began a career, raised four daughters and even bought a house all on her own! Did I mention she was a single mom? 😉

When mom taught and assigned chores, she expected them done without having to be reminded. As she sent us off to school, she expected us to be well behaved great students.

At the doctor’s office, we were not allowed to be one of the kids running around making everyone else’s life a bit stressful. In fact, the receptionist constantly offered us toys every time she saw us.

It is actually funny now that I look back. I think she might have even felt bad for us, because we all squished in a chair.

Yes, there were three of us in one chair. We knew better than to be rowdy anywhere, so we sat and watched all the other kids be rowdy. No, it did not bother us one bit either.

I would say that my mother spent a lot of time focusing on discipline throughout her motherhood journey.

Making sure we understood the importance of staying focused and working hard is what she modeled for us the best. 

I saw her exhale as she watched my baby sister’s motherhood journey begin to take shape. Her sweet joy filled smile of relief was unavoidable.

She molded four strong daughters, four strong mothers and four totally different motherhood journeys. I would smile big too.

When I reflect on my own motherhood journey, I tend to think about how many moments I embraced throughout the day. Was I intentional enough? Did I hear my kids out entirely before I chose to speak?

Although I can honestly tell you that I have no idea what my motherhood legacy will be, I can share with you that I heard Kiya (my teen) complain about her missing English grades and having to redo lost assignments. She also understood that someone was facing a season of health issues.

Kiya was struggling with the thought of causing more weight for her teacher. A thought that even made me stop and process before moving forward. Wow! What a deep thought for a teenager.

I saw and heard my sweet Leana read a book to her little brother while I cooked dinner. Am I the only one that melts away when I hear constant giggling going on? Definitely not. I flock to the giggles every single time.

At this point in my motherhood journey, being intentional about how I spend my time, making sure I am listening more than I speak and embracing the little moments means victory every single night. 

Next month it may look a bit different, but I will certainly seek to always be intentional throughout motherhood. 

How about you? Tell me a bit about your motherhood journey today. And by the way, this is a no judging zone! We all know that it does not always look pretty. #grace 😉

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