I’ve had many dreams. I’ve wanted to be a doctor and a therapist, to name a few, but none of those held up. I hate math and science which crossed out the doctor dreams. I love psychology, but I don’t think I would have enjoyed the task of being a therapist.
And I’ve always wanted to be a mother.
Luckily, you don’t need years of fancy schooling or a degree to be qualified. You just need a good, loving heart and the ability to handle “difficult” parenting situations with grace while teaching your little ones the way of the world.
Game on. This is so me.
Personally, I’ve always wanted to dedicate myself to being a wife and a mother. The first few years of life go by so fast. I wanted to be there to experience them firsthand. This doesn’t mean if you work outside the home you are any less dedicated. I completely understand how some family situations warrant this, and how some moms are better parents because they work outside the home.
This just wasn’t me.
I tried, and found out very quickly I am a better mother by not working outside of the home, and feel fortunate our family can accommodate this. It’s not without its struggle being a single family income, but the sacrifice we’ve had to make has been what’s best for our family.
My love of staying home with my children doesn’t just come down to the most heard of reason of being there for my kids. Here are some of the less known reasons that make it all worthwhile.
Appreciation
Part of my job I have assigned myself is being the main one to cook, clean, shuffle the kids off to their appointments, dealing with the calls from the school nurse … among about a thousand other things. Not once have I ever felt unappreciated.
Every night when my husband sits down to eat he tells me “thank you for the dinner.”
I can’t tell you how it felt every day when I was working to sit at that desk and have everything I was doing go unnoticed until I either made a mistake or worst of all, no notice of my efforts at all. Nine times out of ten, you are indispensable at a job. If you leave, you can easily be replaced. At home I’m well aware I’m not replaceable and my contributions to our family don’t go unnoticed.
No Time Clock
I know part of being an adult is learning to manage your time. In my early 20’s with a young son on my own as a single mother, I did what I had to do. I was rarely late to work (at the crack of dawn even though I am NOT a morning person … actually I’m the laziest person you’ll ever know), and I stayed late when I needed to get my work done.
But that’s not me at the core, if it doesn’t have to be.
As current stay-at-home mom to my two kids, I love being able to make my own schedule that works best for us. I might still be up at the crack of dawn (rare) but the only boss I have to answer to is myself. And being a great mom isn’t something that is subject to monthly evaluations. Punching that time clock can make or break you in more ways than one. I hope I never have to do it again.
Only Accountable to Me
I’m my own boss. If there are dishes in the sink, if there’s a ring around the toilet, if the dogs had an accident because I was too late taking them out, if the laundry is still in the baskets and not put up, if there’s STILL no bread in the house, I don’t have anyone breathing down my neck or worry about losing my job. Sure I want to make my house presentable when my husband comes home but if I don’t, it’s not make or break. He understands. There’s no worry about pay cuts like you may stress with a traditional job. No worry about a disciplinary warning. No worry about lay-offs because the company is downsizing. I’m only accountable to me and my family, and I really do love that.
Low Stress Factor
I’m anxious by nature, so when I got pregnant with our second child, I knew personally I wouldn’t be able to continue working. I was barely managing one child and a part time job. By the time I’d get to the school to pick up my son, I would have to sit in the car and breathe for a few moments before I’d go in to get him. Then when we’d get home, I was snapping at him during homework time so we could “hurry” and finish because I needed to get dinner on the table.
I didn’t like the mother I was.
As it is now we have karate, soccer, basketball, and tons of homework to boot. There’s no way I could (or would) shuffle off to all these practices and games with a job and toddler in tow. There aren’t that many hours in the day.
My husband said it best, “You’re a better mother at home.”
This doesn’t hurt my feelings nor does he intend for it to be something hurtful. It’s the truth and he’s right. I love him for his honesty, even if it means pointing out I’m not perfect at everything.
My life now consists of getting next to nothing done when my kids are awake because … well because they are awake. They require attention and I’m there to give it to them. The remainder of my unaccounted for time is spent cooking meals for the week and cleaning our home once everyone is asleep.
It’s tough, but I manage every aspect of our household. My husband works 48-72 hours a week so the weight of the household is in fact on my shoulders … and I love it.
I don’t have to rely on afterschool care when I get off work. I don’t have to miss practices or games because I’m punching the timecard. I don’t have to rearrange my schedule at a job so I can see my child participate in the things that are important to him.
I’m grateful I have this opportunity, and I applaud working moms who make this happen, especially when it’s an area I so obviously fail in.
I look at myself … my wants and my situation … and I know surely this is what I was meant to do. I hope other mothers out there feel the same about their lives.
