I’ve never really been one to make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I do have some things I really want to work on.
Growing up my mom would always stress the importance of continuing to date your spouse after marriage. Something I’ve tried to hold on to, but with three kids and full time jobs it’s not always easy.
Instead, it’s easy to get swallowed up and lost in the day to day. Putting kids first can happen before you know it. Coming home late and barely speaking happens from time to time. But when this becomes the norm, it’s easy for the couple to get lost. Easy for them to drift apart and basically just exist under the same roof.
My husband and I have been married a little over 12 years. And all of the above is what I want to avoid. So this year I’m embarking on a journey. A journey that will focus on us being a couple. No I haven’t read any of the popular books that are circulating right now about love dares and how to be a better wife/husband. I’m simply making it my goal this year to make sure that we make time for each other.
After all, that’s how we got started in the first place.
We started as a couple. Once the kids are grown and out of the house, we will return to being a couple. Only I don’t want to get to that point and discover my husband and I have drifted apart. I want our relationship with each other to remain alive and well. I want to look at him in 20 years and be able to say, “We got here TOGETHER.” I don’t want to look at him and wonder who on earth he is.
So how will we get there? Our basic action plan includes two main things: Date Nights and a Monthly Focus.
We plan to have at least one date night per month. No Kids. No shopping for household items. And absolutely no work talk. Just us being a couple. There will be times I’ll do something he loves. (He’s already asked if one could be time at the shooting range.) And there will be times I get him to do something I enjoy. (Paint night anyone?) Some months we might spend money and other times it may cost nothing. But the bottom line is we must have date night and honor that time for just the two of us each month.
Each month I plan to focus on something to bring us closer together … something beyond just the monthly date night. Things such as holding hands, staying up late with my husband and watching a TV show with him, etc. These ideas may sound really simple, but show you care and are taking interest in your spouse and the things they enjoy. We have discussed this idea and have agreed to both be more diligent in this area … together.
So as the new year begins, I’m excited about “finding us.” We’ve both grown and changed over the past 12 years. We owe it to each other to make sure we are growing together. And we also owe it to our kids to see what a healthy marriage looks like so they too can strive for that kind of relationship when they eventually get married. I invite you to follow along throughout the year and embark on your own journey.