First comes love, then comes marriage … but what happens when the baby carriage doesn’t come? Nearly a decade ago, I met my prince charming (or so he thinks!). We dated, fell in love, married and are living most of our time, happily ever after. Like most couples, right?
You may notice that I left out the details about starting a family, you might even remember from my past articles that our first daughter would have been seven this year. Like so many couples I know, we’ve waited years and years to build our family through adoption. My husband and I have longed for the sound of those tiny little feet running down the hall towards us, the sounds of a little voice learning to say “mama” or “daddy” … we’re still waiting.
While most women may have the luxury of reading mommy magazines, my topics of choice have been trying to figure out complicated applications and learning about options for adoptions.
Over the years, I’ve made friends who are in seemingly never-ending journey of trying to build a family. We’ve all at some point in our lives hit the place where infertility treatments haven’t worked or were never an option to begin with. Years and years of trying so hard for something that many families gain in the blink of an eye, without even a second thought.
I’m at the point in life where I’ve almost completed a graduate degree and just bought my first (although small and a fixer upper) place with my husband. I would give almost anything for the chance to feel settled with children to care for yet that reality hasn’t happened … yet.
Friends and family are always supportive, although years and years of advice, some solicited and some not, have given way to the dreaded questions of…
“How much longer before you’ll adopt?”
“Why has another opportunity fallen through?”
Honestly, I don’t know. My husband has recently separated from the military. He’s working on a biology degree and hopes to go on to school to become a physician’s assistant. Who knows when we’ll actually get the chance to start our family; I can say that life has a way of happening on its own pace and we have grown to appreciate our time while we are waiting.
The ups and downs of this life’s journey have allowed us to learn to appreciate even the hard times. I know that when we do meet our bundle of joy, we will have the appreciation and love that seven years ago, I never could have imagined would have been possible.