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I Love You, But Please Don’t Touch Me

I Love You But Please Don't Touch Me | Columbia SC Moms BlogSo you’re probably wondering what this could possibly be about, right? Well, if you’re anything like me, then you’ve experienced this more than you can count on both hands. You know those days when your sweet little baby is teething? All you seem to accomplish that day is holding your baby-love. Or how about life with two preschoolers? They are having an “off” day and you go back and forth from one to the other. Then try adding a husband, chores, errands, dinner, and cleaning but forget about any “you” time. Multiply those days by the dozens and here I am just thinking to myself, “I love you, but please don’t touch me.” 

This is not a negative post but one about being real and honest. And honestly, it’s unpleasant but something that is a part of my reality. But it is also not the majority. I’ve learned to accept all the little bits and pieces that make up this hot mess of a mom and love the whole me. Including the ugly moments when I was not at my best. Yet they are so necessary in order for me to truly learn and grow. So now instead of being hard on myself, I am able to give myself some grace and work through the muck to become a better “tea party friend” or “chase me mommy!” for my two baby-loves. 

How could I possibly not want to be touched by my little ones? Or my husband?!? And let me just clarify, it’s not all the time, but every now and again mommy needs to be left ALONE. 

There is lots of talk among moms to always practice self-care and protecting your sanity by having some time to yourself. This is part of my self-care routine. I do enjoy the occasional coffee date just as much as the next preschool mommy. However, I LOVE my quiet time after bedtime routines are complete. It’s those moments when the world is starting to settle down for the night and the Holy Spirit can move through me and speak to me. It allows for reflection of the days events and possibly even a little conviction if it’s been a bad day. And that is so important in prepping yourself for the next day. 

By preparing my mind and soul, I can better handle those difficult moments with more grace … because they will happen.  

self care | Columbia SC Moms Blog

Constantly being called upon to get this, do that, help me over here … yikes!! As a wife and mother of two, the schedules of four people are in this brain, which at times can be a big ball of mush. And to be honest, our schedules are still VERY flexible. I am fortunately not in the stage of life where there are multiple practices to keep up with and mounds of homework to tackle. 

Like so many other moms out there now, I am dealing with the unending needs of my kids. I love them so much it hurts. You know the feeling. Us mothers would do whatever necessary to ensure the protection and well-being of our children and our family. And most of the time it’s at the cost of the protection and well-being of ourselves. 

Not only do we sacrifice more than we’d like to at times, if you’re like me, you also take on others’ emotions. Since a very young age, I’ve always been able to intuitively feel how someone is truly feeling and what they go through emotionally. It can be very draining and exhausting, and leaves me with nothing else to give. 

It’s hard. It gets lonely even when you’re constantly being grabbed on and smothered. You may want to scream at times because you just can’t even get a second to take a breath, let alone a sip of water. And it’s okay to want that alone time, when all is quiet and still. Those are the times we need the most. 

My hope for you is that you’ll know that there are others out there in the same exact boat. We all go through seasons, and I am a firm believer in the Lord blessing you with people, places and things to help alleviate the stress and struggles. So embrace the rare opportunity of the quiet evening or sharing life with a special friend. Your heart will thank you and so will you husband, children, and loved ones. 

How do you make time for yourself?

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5 Responses to I Love You, But Please Don’t Touch Me

  1. Lisa October 8, 2017 at 6:58 am #

    It’s all about you, isn’t it? Ugh!

    • A fellow touched-out mother
      A fellow touched-out mother October 10, 2017 at 10:11 am #

      I can’t imagine what is going on in your life that you felt the need to lash out mindlessly at someone else’s legitimate experience but I hope you find peace.

  2. Yet another touched out mom October 10, 2017 at 10:45 am #

    Thank you Stephanie for sharing this with us. Sometimes people rush to judgement without knowing our stories fully. But we can just roll with criticism and know we are helping other moms feel connected!

  3. C. Jackson
    C. Jackson October 10, 2017 at 2:05 pm #

    This is so awesome! Thanks for speaking out about things some mothers aren’t willing/able to say aloud. You’re making it OK and that’s great. We can’t pour from an empty cup, so yes…it’s ok for it to be all about you:)

  4. Lacie Hooks
    Lacie Hooks October 11, 2017 at 5:09 pm #

    YESSS! I just told my husband the other day that I just wanted a few hours where nobody spoke to me. I just feel like someone is always asking me something or telling me something. I just need some silence for a bit.

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