I have been a mom for more than two years, so I guess you could call me an expert at the parenting thing. Or at least an expert in all the ways the simplest tasks can go awry when a toddler, multiple schedules and very little sleep all come together.
Through our trials and tribulations, we have picked up a few tips and hot mess mom hacks, if you will. Pinterest ain’t got nothing on my panicked creations. (Just kidding. I am completely and totally overwhelmed by even the idea of a Pinterest craft.)
I am notoriously bad about packing (or remembering to bring) my diaper bag. To avoid a Donald Duck situation with my daughter, I have started hiding diapers all over my car. However, I recently found myself out of even my hidden diapers when we were at a friend’s house. Not to worry, though! I fashioned what can best be described as a diaper-thong out of a few maxi pads, and my daughter didn’t even have to worry about VDL (visible diaper lines)! Sure, she was really confused and kept pulling at her crotch, but Mama needed to finish her glass of wine before we called it a night. It’s called priorities, people.
Entertainment on the Go
We all agree that screen time is a thing that exists, even if we can’t quite agree on how much and what program and at what age and if we are all going to die anyway so what does it matter. But sometimes, your kid just needs to watch Moana for the 3,004th time so everyone can relax. How can you replicate this soothing balm in the field and or in the middle of a grocery store? Well, it’s simple! Memorize every line of your child’s favorite show or movie along with all the songs so you can quote it in a pinch. This will also trick your child into thinking you’re magic. I have 100% listened to the soundtrack alone in the car so I can get Dwayne Johnson’s cadence just right. So if you see me putting on a show on aisle five, you have two options. Either join in or pretend you can’t see (or hear) me.
Rainy Day Activities
Along with my diaper bag and dignity, I also forget rain gear more often than not. That can result in sopping wet and angry toddlers, or you can make your inability to get your life in order part of the fun! Now when it rains, we don’t even bother with a raincoat or covering our heads. Instead, we “splash” the rain and make it a game. Ultimately, I may be creating a child who is only happy when it rains but these are the risks I am willing to take.
Letting It Go
Apologies for the earworm but this is the most important Hot Mess Mom tip I have to offer. Let it go. Let it all go – your insanely high expectations, your worry about how others perceive you, and just focus on your little one. Only you get to be his or her mom. I can guarantee that no matter how many embarrassing situations you find yourself in, and I find myself in a lot of them, your child still thinks you are incredible. Believe them. Believe me. You’re rocking this motherhood gig.