If you’re a busy wife and mom, I’m going to guess that “feeling sexy” doesn’t show up very often on your radar screen. As a matter of fact, as I sit here wearing my ratty pink sweat pants and my son’s basketball t-shirt, with my dirty hair in a ponytail, I feel fairly confident in saying that you’ve probably lost track of the sensual woman who lives inside you. (In fact, you may have forgotten that she even exists!) Because you – and almost every other mom you and I know – are so busy, and you’re juggling so many things, that “feeling sexy” seems like a distant memory.
But even if it’s been a long time since you’ve embraced – or even acknowledged – your sensual side, I want to encourage you to find it and enjoy it again. Feeling sexy or sensual isn’t some “extra” you may have time for when your kids are grown, it’s something you need and deserve in your life right now. It’s an important part of being a whole, healthy woman. And it can give you the boost you need to make it through the hard days and weeks when being a wife, mom, employee, chauffeur, cook, homemaker, and every other role you play starts to wear you down.
In fact, it’s so important that I want to challenge you to look for and embrace your sexy side over the next few months. Summer is the perfect time to give this a try, because warmer weather, more sunlight, lighter meals, and lighter clothes all make that elusive sensual woman just a little bit easier. Here are 5 ways to get started:
Make it a priority.
If you want to feel sexier and develop your sensual side, it has to become a priority in your life. It has to become as important as some of the other things you do, like volunteering, running kids from one activity to another, or even cleaning the house. Do you have to spend hours each week finding your “sexy side?” No, of course not. But every worthwhile change takes some time and effort, so figure out how you can fit this worthwhile change into your busy schedule, even if that means setting something else aside for a while.
Learn to enjoy your body.
Most of us have a love-hate relationship with our bodies (and sometimes it’s mostly hate). And it’s really hard to feel sexy if you don’t like your body. So work on learning to enjoy and appreciate it. Start by taking care of it – eat healthy food (which is easier in the summer than the winter), sleep more, drink more water, and find ways to let go of stress. And most important, get up and move every day. One of the best ways to develop confidence in your body is to exercise regularly. So walk, swim, hike, bike – anything that moves your body and helps it become stronger. And then indulge it a bit by stretching, dancing or lavishing your skin with lotions or oils.
Play up your strengths.
Most of us know what we don’t like about ourselves, but we forget about the things we do like. What do you like most about yourself? Maybe you have an engaging personality, pretty eyes, beautiful hair, strong arms, or a genuine smile. Whatever it is, play it up and make it the best it can be. Use your personality to strengthen a relationship, make up your eyes so they really stand out, get a great haircut, put your arms to work to accomplish a task you’ve really wanted to do, or use your smile to make yourself and others feel great. Whatever you like about you, acknowledge it, use it and make it stronger.
Wear things that make you feel sexy.
What feels sexy is different for every woman, so figure out what makes you feel sexy and then wear it. For some women it might be pretty lingerie under their everyday clothes. For others it might be a hot pair of shoes. Some women love a pair of jeans or skirt that hugs their curves just right. And in the bedroom it might be something skimpy or something silky or something comfortable. Figure out what makes you feel sensual and confident in your body and wear those things as often as possible.
Experiment with things that might help you feel sexy.
Some women respond to music. If that’s true for you, make a sexy music playlist and listen to it frequently. Other women respond to color or scent or lighting. (And many women respond negatively to disorder and clutter!) And some women find that essential oils help them embrace their sensual side. So think about the kinds of things that might help you feel sexier, and give one or two of them a try.
“Sexy” looks different for every woman. The things that make me feel sexy may not do anything for you, and vice versa. So figure out the things that do work for you and make time and space for them in your life. Because you need and deserve to get in touch with your sexy side.