The Thanksgiving holiday break is upon us.
A day for family, food, underhanded political comments, and Aunt Esther having one-too-many pre-dinner cocktails.
Ah yes. The holidays are here.
But for some, it’s only a predecessor for that most hallowed of meaningless weekdays: Black Friday.
I heard on NPR that a fellow was already camped out in front of Best Buy. Last week. (To buy what priceless piece of electronics, I cannot even imagine.)
Me? HARD PASS.
Why you may ask?
Well firstly, because I value my sleep. And I prefer not to hang out with hundreds of blood-thirsty mouth-breathers before dawn in the freezing cold.
And secondly, BECAUSE IT’S FRICKIN’ 2017.
Perhaps there was a time in history when the only way you could obtain a $37 big-screen TV was to trample your peers in a mele of consumerist carnage. But those days are long gone.
We have Amazon Prime now. Every imaginable “Black Friday deal” can be obtained from the comfort of my heated living room sofa. With free two-day shipping.
AND I DON’T EVEN NEED TO WEAR PANTS.
Why any human would choose the former over the latter is beyond my comprehension.
But if you love Black Friday, no judgment here. Bundle up. Stay safe. Bring hand sanitizer. And try not to bludgeon anyone.
I’ll be right here. In my unicorn onesie. Drinking coffee. Under a blanket.
But cheers to you. May the odds ever be in your favor.