As I kid, there were just certain things I knew my siblings and I could say or do that would make my mom angry. If we asked her a long, drawn-out list of questions before her second cup of morning coffee, we would get a terse response.
We also loved to ask for a snack after we had eaten dinner and she had cleaned the entire kitchen. Like Pavlov’s dog, the second we heard the dishwasher “click” into the closed position we exclaimed our sudden need for more food which always prompted the response “the kitchen is CLOSED!”
Now when I hear my children repeat some of the same lines, I wish I could call my mom and just say “I’m so sorry!” So this is my official apology to my mom. Mom, I nearly lose my mind when I hear these phrases uttered by your sweet grandchildren. I am sorry I ever said them to you.
“What’s for Dinner?”
Mom, I felt like I had great restraint when I waited until you opened the side door before anxiously asking you what you had in mind for feeding our family of five. In my head when you said you were “working” I thought you were sitting around a table, chatting leisurely with coffee, calmly talking about adult things. In my head, you were walking through the doors to our home refreshed and excited to resume your motherly duties. I had NO idea of what it really took to work full time and care for a household until I was in the position myself. Thank you for not slapping that look of bewilderment off my face when you would respond, “I haven’t even thought about it yet.” Now, when my 8-year-old asks me what is for dinner I feel like I should receive an award for not finishing him off with a roundhouse kick to the right kidney.
“I’m Bored”
Given, we did not have things like iPads, Netflix and ginormous outdoor trampolines. But, I expect that the Atari, Pogo ball and the Easy Bake Oven were the Cadillac of toys in the 80s. Toys you spent your hard-earned money on and toys that I claimed were not entertaining at all. Not only does “I’m bored” say that I was not entertained by the money you spent on me, but it also had an air of “the mere sight of these toys brings me feelings of disgust.” Thank you for not throwing all of my toys away when I showed no appreciation of them. Now, when the kids tell me that they are “bored” and I look around and see an Xbox, books, doll houses, trains and a mini kitchen, I want to torch the playroom and sarcastically ask them “How do you like them apples?”
“I’m Too Tired to… (walk, pick up my toy, brush my teeth, etc)”
You (with dad’s help) woke up, got us breakfast, made us lunches, went to work, came home, made us dinner, helped us with homework, got us ready for bed and catered to our hundreds of nocturnal demands. I had no idea of what it meant to be “too tired.” Too tired is falling asleep in the eight milliseconds you sit on the couch to tie your shoe. Too tired is savoring the alone time in between flushing the toilet and pulling up your pants like it’s an all expense paid vacation to Turks and Caicos. Too tired is pretending that you are going to watch TV and realizing you still have “Jessie” on and you are too tired to change it even though you despise it. You were so tired and I thought I knew what tired was … I was oh so wrong, in so many ways.
So, Mom, thank you and I’m sorry. I had no idea those short little phrases I uttered as a kid could bring up such rage and fury with me as an adult. Well, until I heard my own children say them. I don’t always respond with the patient tone or the humor that you did and I now realize just how much MORE effort that took. For karmic retribution, I now have to make dinner for my bored kids but I don’t want to because I am so, so tired. I love you Mom, and I’m so sorry.
